Cahms V Private: Suicidal Teen

[Ursulla42]

Any thoughts or advice welcomed as we are struggling.

DD 14 finally in system for Cahms but we fear moving slowly and missing the intense treatment we hoped for considering there have been 2 suicide attempts now.

Have a fantastic key worker but not a medic. Group CBT on going. Due to see psychiatrist in 3 weeks.

Worry she's getting worse.

I just wondered if anyone can share their experience of ducking out of cahms and going private and if it worked for you. In doing this is all right to NHS therapy withdrawn?

Thank you 🙏

My experience was I could not find private provision at all with a suicide attempt. Providers did not want to take the risk.

CAMHS came good in the end. But like you I had to wait and it was very very grim.

Go private if you can possibly afford it. It’s too close to bed time for me to get myself all wound up by telling you the details of how badly we were let down by CAMHS. Thank goodness we went private.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Is it an either/or situation? Could you pursue private and CAHMS and see which one works best for DD? Good luck, I hope things improve very soon.

We ended up going privately, but it was still about a three week wait to see the consultant. All the local private consultants weren't taking on new patients so ended up having to travel. It has worked out well, but really stressful at the time!

We tried to find a private psychiatrist 2 years ago when going through the same thing with dd. We couldn’t find anyone - they were all very busy. In the end we did get psych support via CAHMS which is ongoing and dd has just started DBT. It is so hard and so slow and I really feel for you.

I’m currently going down the private route for my DD different issues to your DD but CHAMS have been horrific so it’s my only real option if I want her/our family to have any resemblance of a normal family life. Don’t get me started on CHAMS or I’ll never stop! Hope you find the help she needs in what I’m sure is the most difficult time x

I was able to work with private psychotherapist for my son and had her liaise with CAMHS, but not for long because my DS ended up as inpatient anyway.

I think you can speak to your child's care coordinator about this, about plugging in psychiatrist or therapy privately as long as they can liaise.

Sorry to hear you are going through this.

Thank you for all your messages. It's invaluable to hear all your experiences and I am so sorry for any one who is still going through this along side us.

Only 9 more sleeps now to our psychiatrist appointment with Cahms. We will hold on till then as we have waited this long.

Thank you again for sharing experiences.

I would go private, I had a terrible time with CHAMS, they honestly made matters worse, we were better of before. For one they don’t seem to listen and write things down on their records based on their assumptions, when I found out from school what they had wrote during an enquiry for a school risk assessment, I had to demand it be removed based on it being an assumption, and it was removed. School knew my child better than them, and even said this does not sound like her, worse still I agreed to home visits from one of their helpers, so they could see how she is at home, they spent more time looking around my home than at my child, and it wasn’t discreet either, very unprofessional. She also told me she was asked more than once how things were at home, even though she told them things were fine, and it’s school she struggles with. My guess is they look for reasons for their mental health instead of just listening and trying to understand. I pulled out of the service and now found her a good psychologist which I paid for, things have never been better, I would never go to CHAMS again but maybe it was just a bad experience, I’m sure they may have helped others in the past.

Hi, I'm in a similar situation with a suicidal teen. We've been with CAMHS for a few months and had only sporadic appointments and a nice but completely ineffective key worker. We are waiting for a CAMHS psychiatrist appointment but no date yet.

We are now on a waiting list for private support. I have been told that it's likely to be months for that too so it may be worth you checking out whether there is likely to be a waiting list at private providers where you are, and getting on the list just in case.

So sorry you are going through this. Would it help to keep this thread going for support? I don't have any practical suggestions or wisdom as I am in the thick of a horrible time too, but an ongoing thread may make us feel less alone.

I really hope that the psychiatrist appointment goes well for your DD and she starts to get some real help soon.

Thank you so much for replying. It's a lonely business being a parent in all this so massively appreciative of the replies.

Very happy to keep thread going for anyone's updates. We will learn from each other.

We have opted to stay with cahms as we have waited so long Finally saw psychiatrist yesterday who we thought was good and was getting near to some of the problems. We start on 25g of serlatine tomorrow. Scary times but we need to try this.

Yes, such a lonely business.

And exhausting, trying to do a passable job at everything else along with looking after DD. I keep fantasising about quitting my job so I can focus wholely on her, but then there is no way we'd be able to afford private therapy. Her school attendance is getting worse though, so I may end up having the choice taken away from me.

More positively, DD has talked more recently about wanting to get help. CAMHS have struggled to get her to open up ("I'm fine. I don't need any help", despite suicide attempts etc) so I am hoping that she will start to benefit from whatever help we do get.

I hope the serlatine helps your DD.

Some good news. DD has been taking 25g of sertraline for a week now with no side effects. She seems happier. Dose will go up to 50g in a week. She's been out with friends and has been chatting about what a nice time she's had.

Group CBT provided by Cahms finishes next week and again she's been positive about that.

Hoping this is the beginning of things starting to improve. God knows we need a lucky break

Loopholedout hoping you get the good news you deserve too. Will let you know how we progress. I know it will be ups and downs as this is how it goes.

This sounds so positive, Ursulla, I'm so, so pleased for you and your DD. Hopefully this will be a turning point. As you say, we know that recovery is not a straight line, and there will be ups and downs, but this sounds like such a positive start to sertraline and there's real reason to be hopeful.

We have CAMHS on Friday, where we will be meeting a new keyworker and hopefully getting an update on the psychiatrist referral. Haven't heard anything yet from the private provider. DD has been up and down. Self harmed and barely ate on Monday, then seemed near "normal" yesterday.

Hope things continue to improve for you.

How did you get on on Friday? Hope you're all ok. We have had a tough weekend. The dosage of sertraline due to go up to 50g from Wednesday. It's our last Cahms group cbt tomorrow. I am not sure if this has helped at all.