Some advice would be greatly appreciated

[Violet26x]

My child is 5, she’s a beautiful, loving, kind and funny little girl - she LOVES school and her teachers adore her, so does everyone who knows her - but since back last year when her biological father threatened to take her to his ‘home town’ and that he’d take her wether she wanted to or not, she’s having nightmares, going into school crying that her ‘dad’ is going to come and pinch her and take her away (she’s got intervention now in school and has talked about memories, things she witnessed her dad doing to me) there is police involvement going on in the background that she does not to know about…. We speak about her dad when she wants too, but she refers to him as ‘the devil’ and ‘stinky pants’ she has told her teachers he makes her so sad, and she never wants to see him again.

I stopped contact back last June, after her told her she was going to his home and she didn’t want to go; and he threatened over emails to tell her ‘I’m a monster, she won’t love me anymore ect’ there has been a LOT more going on, but it’s such a long story I wouldn’t know where to start.

he’s left it 7 months to take me to court after I’ve stopped contact, he does not know that the police are arresting him on coercive control charges and 4 assault charges as I finally spoke out back last year, tearfully my daughter exhibiting fear pushed me to put an end to this abuse -

before this I had always facilitated contact, infact gone above and beyond for him and her to have a relationship, because in my eyes as long as he loved, cared and kept her safe he deserved to see her - but it soon changed and I could see he was trying to push the ‘emotional abuse’ onto her now he couldn’t get to me.

I’ve had ressilent families involved, who were the ones who advised I could use my PR rights to stop contact, they said no safeguarding concerns ect from my side.

im so concerned with family courts, that she’s going to end up traumatised, I know if they make her see him, she’s going to have a breakdown as she is absolutely terrified, she’s asked me to promise her she never has to see him again, and I’ve explained I can’t promise that and the fear in her eyes is enough to make me sob myself to sleep every night.

I have evidence of all the abuse, and his messages changing from ‘ oh you’re so great and thank you for all you do’ to - ‘you’re the worst mother and I hate you and so will our daughter’

anyone got any advice please??

Family court is usually very child-friendly and you'll have a CAFCASS worker allocated so DD isn't interrogated and doesn't have to be at court. If she says to them what she's saying to you, they'll likely find in your favour or, at worst, he'll have minimal contact with a social worker present.

I’ve got no concern with her not saying it to them, she’s so open about it - the first time she wouldn’t go to school, I carried her into the office visually upset and the teacher came out, and asked me what was wrong - I told my child to explain and she did VERY clearly in her own words, she was even scared the office door was open just in case he would come in & pinch her, I’ll be telling caffcass to contact her school as that’s where she’s getting help… he loves the world ‘allientation’ and had thrown that about me so many times now, and his other child’s mum (who he lost his PR rights too)

thanks for the reply.

I know someone who has done a lot of research on PA, and it's very specific, especially in a court context. It can be a scary allegation, but generally little to be worried about and without good reason, most social workers just ignore it.

he has accused me of alienation, and also his other baby mother… it’s his defence for abusing us…. And my child calls him ‘stinky pants’ if I was telling her things… that name would be much worse. Joking inside, I literally only care about my child; and if she’s ok… she’s 5 but her voice is the only thing she got for herself x