7 year old struggling with mental health

[Ahouseinvermont]

Can anyone help? I'm desperate. My 7 year old hates himself. Has done for a long time.
He has ADHD.

He has major meltdowns with no obvious trigger. Can get very, very angry very fast.

Doesn't do it at school but tells me he hates school.

On medication for adhd. Doesn't seem to do much.

I'm on edge all the time.

He causes so much destruction of stuff, hurts me. So angry.

Can anyone tell me how to cope? Any books that might help me?

Im.so scared for his future.

I feel like I'm loosing him.

I'm so worried.

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. There's some info here with helpful organisations at the end.

Has he been assed for Autism? I appreciate that doesn't directly help right now. ADHD often co occurs. I sought an ADHD assessment and then realised Autism was factoring in and that was assessed and also diagnosed.

I wonder if Autism is predominant then will ADHD meds help anything. Any possibility this has worsened on ADHD meds?

My feeling and understanding - which is developing - is that school is a nightmare for many ND kids. Can you ask what is it he dislike most about school? Do you like anything? Just try get on his level and understand if there's any room to make any part of school easier. Are the school giving him any support? Cutting him some slack? You need to find out exactly what's going on. Ask him. Don't take the schools word for it.

He sounds like a kid who is also Autistic and is masking and then exploding at home. You don't need books to sort this. Ask him what's going on with very specific details.

Tittat50- I don't know what I wrote that made you guess but yes professionals do think he gas autism too!

He hasn't been assessed yet. I do ask him whats wrong- he tells me everyone hates him, he always thinks others are treated better than him.

Yep. He is definitely exploding at home straight after school.

I believe he's telling the truth. Other kids instinctively know that he's different and are at this moment in his life rejecting him potentially. He instinctively feels it, being Autistic he's going to see through alot of bullshit too. He might also be doing things that really bother them, without fully understanding it

He will be telling the truth when he says he believes others are being treated better than him. They probably are but he might not realise why.

I'd want to be really clear as to what support the school are providing. It's difficult if they say there's no problem. Doesn't mean that's accurate.

My son is Autistic/ ADHD. I saw alot more after the ASD assessment which involved an in school observations ( I paid for a private assessment as NHS fobbed me off). The private report highlighted alot. Stuff no teacher really shared with me or would have without this assessment.

Getting that assessment for autism is important for your son.

I'd be reviewing how appropriate and helpful the meds are right now. If struggles are dominated by Autism,the meds aren't right for him.

What many of us learn through this experience is that if you reduce the demands at home, life is easier for them. Whilst he is struggling like this I'd allow alot of wriggle room at home. If he needs to just be on an IPad, gaming or whatever he seems drawn to, just let him. It helps regulate and is stress free. If he needs to eat dinner in front of the TV, just let him, seriously.

For now, is anyone in the school able to just keep an eye on him and guide him a bit in the playground. I'd ask for that. I'd be telling them I felt he was also Autistic and awaiting an assessment so can you help here please school?

Thanks so much for your comments.

I'm not sure I really understand the differences between ADHD and autism.

School are awful. :-(.