Just found suicidal DD with knife

[HebburnPokemon]

14 year old autistic (largely non-verbal) DD has had thoughts of suicide for a few weeks but no plans to do anything - until now. She’s been self harming by cutting her arms and thighs. School are aware. GP is aware. Private psychologist is aware.

I have just noticed the largest knife was missing from the knife block in the kitchen. Daughter had locked herself in bathroom with it.

Luckily I seem to have caught her before she did anything.

I am completely out of my depth. I don’t know what to do.

I phoned 111 spoke to crisis line. They said a nurse will phone back. I have no idea when. I’m too scared to sleep in case DD does anything.

hand hold please. Any advice?

How is she now?

& how are you doing?

She seemed to calm a little when I said I won’t make her go to school tomorrow.

DH is waiting for the elusive callback. I think I’ll offer to sleep with DD in my bed.

That all sounds like positive steps, it doesn't matter how small those steps are x
Have you had a drink? Cup of tea, glass of wine, even a glass of water - don't forget to look after yourself too

Sounds like a good plan. Glad you have DH at home supporting you both.

Once you’ve got your DD settled come back and talk to us if you need to. I’m up for another hour or so.

School is going to be a gigantic contributer to her stress. I know how it is right now and if you're working you can't just say no more school.

Tomorrow off school sounds perfect. If you aren't already, I'd be talking about medication with her tomorrow. How does she feel about trying something? It can help people and you want to help her.

I don't know your financial situation. I've just had to arrange a zoom psychiatrist appointment with a lady with expertise in Autism/ADHD etc for my teen .It's a bit of hope isn't it. Some hope that she could feel better. I know this stuff costs money. Only a psychiatrist can really advise and prescribe and I don't know if she has one already. The NHS is not great right now.

Hope you get some sleep ❤️

.

Will they help autistic people with mental health? I thought they didn't but maybe I misunderstood.

Could you call 999? She needs assessed

anti depressants can increase suicide in young people

Yes I know it's all a risk. I have experience personally and it isn't always an easy choice.

But the current situation is very risky and the girl is in misery. A good psychiatrist will know what's worth trying and what isn't. It's a tough risk balance all this.

How quickly one will be available on the NHS in this climate I don't know. It's not great right now. Maybe GP can fast track or the elusive 111 nurse possibly.

You say she won't phone a helpline and doesn't want to text but remember Samaritans (for both of you). They can be contacted by phone, email or text (email may take hours to get a reply).

And she can get worse. The vast majority of people don't have improved mental health on drugs..

When I was feeling suicidal, I found this website very helpful. It may not be suitable for your DD, since it’s not specifically aimed at young people. But if not, it might at least give you inspiration for strategies to talk to her.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Sending love and strength to your whole family.

Possibly so. A psychiatrist knowledgeable and experienced in seeing Autistic teens will know best. ( Edit - private ones are available but it will cost).

There are good outcomes for some. The risk will need to be weighed up but I'd be considering all options right now.

I hear you though. I don't want to de-rail.

Wait list is long, if at all possible

OP go to A&E if you can.

I think sleeping in with her is a good place to start. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this, there can be light at the end of the tunnel. My friends daughter was just like this at 14. They did have to pull her out of school but she is now much calmer and content at 17.

So sorry to read this. If you are able to see Dr Rossouw child psychiatrist for help or one of her colleagues at Stepping Stones clinic or online. Very experienced with autistic and/or ADHD teenagers and aware mental health crises can be immune mediated as well.

Hand holding xx.

Is she still locked in the bathroom?
If she's out of there and you are physically with her, can you identify for her (she won't be able to) something that gives her sensory soothing,? As an autistic person self-harm can sometimes be a way to meet a sensory need, and even if it isn't giving her sensory input to soothe and regulate right now.

For example crunching ice; sucking a drink through a straw (especially good if you have a thick drink like a yogurt drink to hand); tapping her shoulders; wrapping her up tight in a blanket; rocking her body; applying deep pressure to her limbs; rubbing a combs teeth on her arm...what are her usual sensory preferences...

Also, if she can, can you get her to breathe with you? All she needs to do is aim for the out breath to be longer than the in breathe.

If you can do more with her, if she is up to it there is a technique called TIPP which works really well when someone is distressed and wants to hurt themselves...

I can't think of anything to help that hasn't already been suggested, OP. But a big hand hold. You must be so so worried. ☕

Hope you are ok OP xx

Is this all related to school? I was like this at her age. I got treated for depression but it didn't really help because I wasn't actually depressed. It was complete and utter autistic overwhelm to do with school. Give her what she needs at the moment until you can address what is triggering all this. If that means keeping her off school then so be it.

I was in a similar position to your daughter's situation a few years ago - as in my mum caught me with a knife in the bathroom and stopped me killing myself.

Her solution was to take me back to the bed she'd been sharing with me that night and make me promise not to do it again. She watched over me, but actually looking back rather underreacted.

Luckily I have amazing GPs who I called the next day and took it seriously, and I saw a psychiatrist the same day. I needed to see the psychiatrist.

A&E should get you access to an emergency psychiatrist- but when 111 call back you can see if you can short circuit the queue and ask for an appointment with an emergency psychiatrist- ultimately you'll need to see a specialist, but a good psychiatrist should help in the short term. In my case I got medication which kept me safe until I became a day patient at our local mental hospital and got therapy.

Lots of other good advice about relevant services.

I just wanted to add my tuppence - you don't feel you know how to keep her safe and that's ok, that's normal. This is a crisis point, and it's ok to need help. The NHS is actually pretty good at crises, I've found.

Good luck to you both xxx

I hope you’re managing to get some sleep. Bless her, your dd sounds completely overwhelmed. I am hoping you’ll be able to quickly access the necessary help for her to heal. I would be hiding all medicines and sharp objects until given the all clear by medical professionals.

If you take her to A & E this morning there is more likelihood there will be a Camhs psychiatrist. I’d take her in as Camhs will then need to do a 7 day follow up and if there is a clinical indication she should be prioritised.

So sorry to hear what you're going through, I've recently been in a very similar situation to you.

I was a bit aprehensive taking my daughter (also 14 and autistic) to A&E but this is what the GP advised and I'm glad I did. She ended up spending 3 nights in hospital, and was visited by the CAMHS team whilst there who were very helpful. They gave some good advice and arranged further support after her discharge from hospital such as weekly follow up sessions with a member of the crisis team for 6 weeks. The crisis team lady is meeting with the school to discuss any further adjustments needed. To be fair, the school have been very good so far, my DD has a number of adjustments, is on a modified timetable and has a key worker assigned to her who had been invaluable. The hosptital also got Adolescent Services to contact us, who are going to provide my daughter with support around her social skills (an area which she struggles with). The hospital stay acted like a kind of 'reset', taking her out of her usual environment and allowing her to focus on resting and feeling better.

As an aside, we have a lock box for the kitchen (well actually several!) where we keep all sharps and medication.

Look after yourself too and try and arrange some counselling for yourself and DH if you can. It is so incredibly hard, I hope things improve for you soon xx