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How to support DD13 with grief

4 replies

NewShoesRub · 31/12/2024 11:14

My DD13 lost a relative on her dad's side 2.5 months ago and she is struggling with grief. I don't know how to help her. Can you share things that helped in your own experiences please?

She didn't know the relative very well, but he was only 20 and I think part of it is the shock that someone so young could die. They had spent time together during the summer (family party) and got on quite well but had not been in contact since the summer. They had only met a couple of times previously.

I have just found out that she cries before bed every night about his death, and has been doing this on her own. I want to help and support her. She doesn't know what would help and I'm a bit lost too.

Thank you.

OP posts:
HPandthelastwish · 31/12/2024 11:19

It's unlikely to be about him as much as the shock of it all. And may well not be about his death at all but a natural release to other stressors in her life.

I cried moreover the stranger I saw get killed in an RTC although it wasn't gruesome and he died internal injuries than I did about my DGP who made it well into their 90s.

I would get her outside and go on a few long walks or car journeys so you are side by side were se is more likely to open up about this and anything else bothering her.

Maybe pack up and head to the coast for a change of scenery for a couple of days, winter beach walks are the best and Premier Inns and Travel lodges will be cheap in seaside towns this time of year.

WaitingforStrike · 31/12/2024 11:20

I think if you can be with her when she's crying that would be very supportive. 2.5 months is quite a long time to still be doing this every night - perhaps now she has opened up to you it will get better (not saying she will be "over" it, but the shock should have worn off)

crazycatladie · 31/12/2024 11:21

You could contact Winston's Wish, they offer support to children and young adults dealing with grief.

NewShoesRub · 31/12/2024 11:39

Thank you for your comments.

I hadn't thought that there might be other stressors too but that is worth thinking about more. Winter walks and talks is a good idea. I'll try and sit with her before bed as well. I think tonight will be hard as it's natural to reminisce in nye.

I'll look up the charity too - thank you

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