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Child mental health

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DD 11 year old with tension headaches

4 replies

TrioG · 08/12/2024 12:16

My DD is 11 and started secondary school in September. She had a tricky time at first and showed real resilience going in every day especially when she ‘hated’ it, we had tears, physical signs of her being stressed, anger towards me ‘making her going in’ she still doesn’t love school but has come to terms with having to go in. The problem we have now is continuous tension headaches, I’ve been so worried that we’ve been to the emergency out of hours doctors and we are now being seen by Bupa. We have changed routines, made time for old friends which is hard as she doesn’t always want to go (from primary school) we’ve been to the opticians for an eye test and all is fine. We’ve even tried to get her to an appointment with a private counsellor, but she refused to go on the day. Bupa have advised an MRI scan to make sure her headaches aren’t anything medical. I’m so worried about her. Home life is becoming more tricky, she’s extremely up and down. At times curling into a ball crying uncontrollably. DD is sensitive and finds change hard and I feel I’m failing her. Sometimes she appears to be fine then she’s wiped out with her head. Calpol and nurofen make her feel worse. Dr has advised tiger barm white to rub on her temples to help with the headaches and it’s still early days but initially doesn’t appear to make any change. We are trying desperately to get her out and about more but she’s not a foodie or a shopper so it’s hard to excite her to go out and do something worth while. It’s a constant negotiation at home and I’m worried about the long term outcome of this on her mental health and physical well being as she grows.

Happy to answer questions and any advice you can offer would be really helpful.

OP posts:
Sherbs12 · 07/01/2025 22:50

So sorry to read this - it sounds like there might be some stress with starting secondary school (which is understandable), but my daughter was very similar to this at the same stage for a few months leading up to her starting her period.

We did the same as you with GP, optician and she did some CBT online. The optician did suggest that it could be hormones/puberty. He also said that sometimes the lighting in school classrooms / technology can trigger headaches too and we also realised that she wasn’t drinking as much water in secondary school, so just a couple of small things to consider.

Hope things ease and settle for her very soon.

Nomorecoconutboosts · 07/01/2025 22:57

I had similar at age 10 and it turned out to be migraines - hormone related.
obviously I’m not diagnosing your dd but maybe keep a diary of any patterns.
I had this from age 10 with no pattern but then started periods about 18 months later. Normal pain relief didn’t help and never really has. I have triptans now.
there is migraine in my family.
maybe ask the GP or BUPA doctor if this has been considered?
also as a pp said, yes of course there is also stress and change with starting secondary. Lots of adjustment, new frIends, unfamiliarity. Perhaps drinking less if toilet facilities are a bit scary or restricted? If this might be the case encourage lots of water/squash during the late afternoon after school. Perhaps eating less regularly - rushing out the door with less chance for breakfast?

StormingNorman · 07/01/2025 22:58

I had this too at her age and was treated with propranolol. That was 30+ years ago so things may have moved on. Counselling to help with whatever is causing the tension would have been a better treatment plan in the long run.

username299 · 07/01/2025 23:08

Does she exercise? It's great for tension release and releases feel good endorphins.

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