EBSA success stories

[Motheroftweenagers]

Following on from the EBSA thread, it would be great to hear from any parents whose children went on to leave home and achieve some stability after an education disrupted by EBSA.

• What did they go on to do?
• Did anything in particular help turn things around?

Things got bad for DD in year 8. Just got ASD diagnosis and new start in another mainstream school (year 9) and things are worse than ever. Would be great to hear some positive stories.

Hi I'm afraid we are still at the stage of working through this so no advice but I wanted to thank you for starting the thread. Any positive stories would be great to hear!

Also following hopefully. 🙏

Anyone with any positive outcomes?

We're not at the 'leaving home and achieving some stability' stage yet, but after a very similar trajectory to yours, OP, we're seeing green shoots of recovery at the end of Y10. But only after fully leaning into ASD diagnosis and relevant adaptations, slashing the timetable, radically lowering the academic bar and reducing the number of qualifications at GCSE and supplementing with excellent local AP. But DC's school has been right behind us all time, which accounts for an enormous amount.

Thank you for this - agree that school support is essential. I hope your DC's positive progress continues.
Count down to the summer break!

EBSA led to 12% attendance in year 8 and asd diagnosis at the end of that year

managed move to another mainstream school year 9 -0.4% attendance (half a day)

fought to get online provision via EHCP and sat GCSEs online

attended mainstream but very supportive 6th form

went to a very small, college type uni and graduated on schedule

works full time (1 day in the office and 4 from home)

lives in their own flat with their little dog for company and seems happy with that

for us, online school made the difference as it enable healing but didn’t reduce the number of qualifications available so all potions were still available at post 16
initially only offered 2 GCSE’s via home tutoring but this would have meant no access to A levels

@sausagebaconandtomatobutty which online school did you use please and financially did it fall to you or your local authority?
Thanks

Interhigh

I paid for 1 term to evidence engagement (the LA’s argument was if there was no engagement with school then why would online be any different)

then the LA paid the rest

Dd18 - autism and EHCP y13 currently doing a - level exams. Going into covid high achieving in y8 and teachers really liked her. Towards the end of 2020 became anorexic. V quickly started SH, began with EBSA but we could still take her into school. Little CAMHS support, it was a very hard time but mainly down to anorexia.

halloween of y10 had a v public suicide attempt involving police and ambulance. Hospitalised in tier 4 setting (which was shot and didn’t support anorexia. CIN plan and would have been a CP plan if CAMHS didn’t support due to professionals not supporting. Missed that full year 10. Had some medical needs tuition. Was v keen to get back to school but due to anorexia and needing 1:1 supervision, we couldn’t seen her back. Started at y11. Didn’t always go in, but was well supported by school (they were a bit pissed off with her low attendance, but I got her in when I could) came out of GCSE with about seven 9s.

Now predicted AA A in a levels. Studying 12!hour days. Still struggled with attendance at about 80% - school ok with this, had EHCP for sixth form. This has been the most chilled out she has been for an exam period/ last mocks she wrote ‘I can’t do this’ on an exam paper and walked out…. She has sat three a level exams so far, with 6 to go.

She has firmed with a v good London uni, v excited about this. Even if she didn’t manage to get her form, I would consider a successful return to school despite attendance, because she is going well and her mental health is greatly improved and anorexia is in remission.

it has taken a huge load of advocacy from me though. I work in schools also, and this has helped. It is not my only EBSA and neurodiverse child and they have varying levels of ‘success’s my 13yo has recently changed schools and has been attending again.

What a stressful time for your family @imip , so sorry to hear about your DD's struggles.

We also found that our other DC's attendance started to go down. Makes sense in a way but it really adds to the impression of poor parenting. Seems better now but I never take anything for granted.

yes, though I managed to get the LA EP onside. I would say SLT really view me dimly but inclusion team at school are ok.

ND dd in y12 had trouble going to school before covid which hit crisis point in y7 with out of control OCD. Then during Covid she calmed down a lot. While things are far from perfect for her, she internalised it a lot and is happy to attend school. I think wanting to be ‘normal’ and developing rituals to ‘protect’ her from bad luck weirdly helps her attend school. And she has a friendship group.

ND DD in y8 has struggled since before covid. Struggles to maintain friends. Been off all this year y8 but started at a new school after a tribunal battle with the LA. She has attended the last two weeks. Also had OCD which is manageable atm.

I am pretty fierce when it comes to parental blame because I work in the area also. Having had all the SS intervention helped to ‘exonerate’ us in some ways. But while the dc were in primary, I did have a lot of gas lighting. Schools told me they were not autistic and when the diagnosis came, they backtracked a lot. I know some schools continue with parent blaming, but ours didn’t for some reason - they seemed embarrassed they got it wrong.

@sausagebaconandtomatobutty I just wanted to say thank you so much for posting this, it brought me to tears as it gave me so much hope. DS is using an online school after EBSA, and my hope is that he'll be able to manage a sixth form in person. If I could ask a couple of questions - did your DC sit GCSEs at an exam centre, and if so did they cope OK with a large exam hall or need a small room? also, any tips for managing the transition to sixth form - were there any particular ways the sixth form helped to support? would also be really interested to know the rough line of work your DC has found suited them and can be done mainly from home, as I'm thinking something similar might be the ideal set up for my DS.

Like a PP my daughter is not at the leaving home stage / age yet but she is currently doing GCSEs, a stage I often thought she would never make it to, so I am counting that as a win!
One of the things that helped her most was school reducing attendance pressure - they said don’t rush her she will come in when she is ready and that’s ok.
At times she has had formal flexible timetable.
I have had to advocate strongly for her. I realised a few years ago that I would have to be “that parent” and be super pushy. I have always tried to do it in a nice way and genuinely do think the school are doing their best, but have, at times had to push and argue hard for what she needs.
She is sitting her exams in a small room (of less than 10 students) to help with sensory stuff (she is autistic, diagnosed after the school identified it).
I 100% think with a less flexible, kind school she would not have got to this stage without dropping out of school.

Also not at the leaving home and working point but...

DS1 ND. year 10. Couldn't cope with secondary school and didn't do Y7 or Y8. He now.has EHCP and a package of EOTAS and is flourishing. He does online lessons with Apricot Online Learning and will sit GCSEs in English Maths and Science next year, at home. He goes to the gym, and has 9 hours a week with a practitioner from Nudge Education where he doesn voluntary work and explores the countryside. He has just started reconnecting with friends on occasion too. He wants to go to mainstream college and take A Levels. Not entirely sure if this is doable but it might be and I know he will find his way in life.

DS2 also ND. Unable to attend school from Y2. Now Y7. Is doing Nudge Education too which has slowly helped him to recover from the trauma of school and he is finally happy again. He has just started a bit of gentle online learning too, at his own request. It's taking time, but he is making consistent progress and his mental health is massively improved.

I remember the dark days. The fear. The constant struggles and fighting the authorities. It was a bleak time and so lonely. Things are so much better now and although I know there will be ups and downs, I think they will be ok. I have learned to follow my children's lead. My mantra is "kids do well if they can".

I still can't get over the gaslighting and outright lying by Education professionals. It's shocking and upsetting.

but.... here is hope. I hope my story helps you to see that.

@user1471521723
exams were sat in our dinning room as we were successfully able to argue this was the normal way of working for exam access arrangements -invigilator arrived about 5 mins before the exam started 🤣

6th form college was great because the timetable meant there was 1.5 hours before there was a break where they accessed the library, private study rooms or learning support -this was available for everyone so never felt like it made them stand out

work is editing online content for a few different websites that make educational content for children but are all owned by the same company

Thanks so much, this is all really useful to know - I didn't know exams could be sat that way at home, so will bear in mind if we need that when the time comes. In sixth form college some let them home for study periods and out for lunch I think, so I'm hoping it will feel a lot less like like regular school, and as you say easier to take quiet breaks.

@Livinginchaos Nudge Education sounds really interesting, I will look into that or something similar, and there is hope as you say - I'm glad to hear your DC are doing so much better.

I'm grateful that at least we will live in a time when online learning and remote working is so available, it opens up so many more opportunities for our DC.

hi i'm not a parent but i'm 18 and have had ebsa since year 7. I managed to finish my gcse's with 20% attendance after repeating a year and came out with all As (7,8 and 9s). i'm in sixth form and still struggle to come in ( i have asd bpd and bipolar) and am struggling more with sixth form but am hoping to be able to stick it out. i am currently predicted to get all As and have offers from three medical schools. It is possible and it's super hard and i haven't done it the traditional way just encourage your child to continue to do work even if they can't in school- CGP BOOKS!! this is how i achieved all my grades i basically made my bedroom a classroom when i couldn't go in.

Both my children had EBSA and both ended up educated at home up to GCSEs with an EOTAS arrangement, both autistic.

Child 1 - reintegrated in 6th form, achieved amazing A Levels, now living away from home at uni and has just got a part time job. He still has periods of increased anxiety but with self awareness he can manage.

Child 2 - just finished GCSEs now going to college for a BTEC, so far so good.

Just keep going OP.

https://repository.essex.ac.uk/37859/