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Child mental health

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Need advice from single mums of boys

8 replies

IcyViewer · 22/10/2024 19:28

My teen son (almost an adult) has expressed wanting an older male to spend time with.. he says hes bi sexual and we've had issues with him seeking attention from older men online aa few years ago, but we've talked about it since then and he says he just wants someone to talk to and spend time with.

he has a lot of aunts and his grandma loves him. my father died when i was 15 so that's not an option. one of my brothers has severe mental health issues (my son is mentally ill himself.. I don't see it helping him) and the other is very conservative and not accepting of my sons sexuality. he's been sectioned before and really got on with a male support worker in his 30s at one of his wards.. he said it felt like having an older brother / father. that really hit me because he's talked about lacking that his whole life.

is there a way to help him safely find role models? a program or something maybe? hes not a sporty kid at all.. hes definitely more shy and nerdy.

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thatwasthen81 · 22/10/2024 19:31

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IcyViewer · 22/10/2024 19:57

to clarify the issues online were from 12- 13. His Internet access has been monitored since and the behaviour hasn't been repeated..

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BertieBotts · 22/10/2024 20:04

Maybe a local youth LGBTQ club?

thatwasthen81 · 22/10/2024 20:04

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thingymijigi · 22/10/2024 20:06

What does he enjoy doing?
Do you think he would be interested in doing voluntary work somewhere or joining a local woodwork group, sailing, art, volunteering for a charity, helping the local church. Locally to us, we have a gallery space that offers free lessons on how to make music electronically and it's run by men in their 30's. Does he like music or djing?

IcyViewer · 22/10/2024 20:07

we're thinking a lot about future help for him. he currently still has mental health support and the main task is getting him into education which we have a plan for.., this is more so a secondary thought.. im looking into some sort of program we can look into for later on next year but not immediately

an lgbt club is also a good idea.. ill ask if hes interested

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IcyViewer · 22/10/2024 20:09

he does like listening to music so I'll see if he's wanting to learn an instrument.. and he likes his arts and crafts too. Ill definitely look into that

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FloatyBoaty · 22/10/2024 20:10

If he’s almost an adult, I would suggest perhaps finding an interest or volunteering group he can make friends at- perhaps you could join with him, whilst he finds his feet? Near me, there is a model engineering society that’s full of older gents, a steam railway (similar), an amateur film club, that’s also pretty male dominated.

If you have concerns about him being able to manage relationships safely and appropriately though, this may not be the right thing.

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