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Moving areas with a 9 and 12 yr old

1 reply

STHKM77 · 20/09/2024 21:59

Hello. I’m looking for some opinions please about moving areas with children of these ages. I feel we’ve left it too late but the opportunity has only presented itself in the last year or two, despite me being desperate to move out of London for years as I grew up by the sea and loved it. Hubbys work has always prevented this, but now he works from home mostly.

The positives are we would be able to afford a larger house and garden (much-needed)
We would be able to live in a much greener area and near the sea.
We hopefully wouldn’t need to worry as much about stabbing and drugs (our area is one of the best in London but it’s still London)

The negatives are we leave behind very good schools and can’t afford private, the kids are a little introvert so would, I think, find it hard to start again with no friendship network. We have a strong community where we live with friends who help with childcare, so that will be hard to leave. My eldest can walk to friends houses currently. We would have to get in the car more often. I don’t mind giving my children lifts to friends houses as then I know they are safe, but I’m sure the children will hate having to ask all the time and will miss the autonomy of living closer to friends.

I’m so torn about this. I never wanted to live in London and here we are still. I wanted my kids to grow up with water sports and space and free fun, but now they are pretty grown up and have got used to London life I think they may find the transition difficult and having to ask for lifts constantly perhaps a bit isolating. I also know there can be less job opportunities in the countryside so that’s a concern as they get older.

We thought about moving when they turn 18 but I spoke to a lady recently who said it’s even worse as one of hers doesn’t want to go to uni so now they are taking all she’s known away from her.

Id love to hear from anyone who has experience of a move at this sort of age. Unfortunately I read an article which is very damning to a move with a 12 year old: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/06/13/moving-as-a-child-can-change-who-you-are-as-an-adult/

OP posts:
Eenameenadeeka · 26/09/2024 09:25

Have you spoken to them about how they would feel about it? I moved a lot as a child and I remember one at age 9 that I absolutely hated.. but my siblings who were 7 and 11 were fine. I have a 9 and 12 year old and I don't think I'd want to move them now, but that is because we moved away from the city when they were younger and if we were still in the city id still probably want to move. I think I'd probably start a family discussion and see what they think.

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