Gymnastics club coaches screamed at my daughter and threatening legal action

[Bethany34w]

DD 14 and friends decides to donate some of their old gymnastics clothes as they had loads that are for smaller sizes. Their gymnastics club got taken over by new owners and coaches and they put the prices x3 higher for everything including club attire, my daughter and her friends overheard some parents getting upset that they can't afford it in the car park. So they set up a stall in car park that is not owned by the club and gave all the clothing out for free. The club found out and called my daughter and her friends for a meeting and screamed in their face and said things along the line "who do you think you are threatening our business and our money" and "we are considering taking legal action", daughter is mortified and has barely left her bedroom in days.

Good on your daughter and her friends. Can't see that they have a leg to stand on and especially as they gave it away for free. I'd suggest you start a Facebook group to give away or sell on their gear so the flack comes on the adults not the kids and would be the perfect (and legal) revenge.

So as a parent what have you done?

Nothing yet. I am not sure what to do if I'm completely honest, first of all I just want my daughter to be OK she keeps getting upset and blaming herself

I have a different understanding to screaming as people on MN as it seems so common in here.

For me, a person screaming has completely lost control and is deranged. Do you mean shouting? They were shouted at?

If they were shouted at, then that's not nice but they just got a telling off, which happens. If they were screamed at then that's completely unacceptable and you should make a complaint to the actual organisation. There will be a complaints protocol, so follow that.

People who scream have mental health issues or rage issues and shouldn't be near the public, let alone children.

You did nothing?
Please go and talk to these people and make it absolutely clear they have no right to shout and threaten your daughter and her friends and they must apologise for their behaviour.
Your DD did nothing wrong whatsoever.
Let them bring this 'legal action' if they want, there is absolutely nothing they can do. The girls gave away, for free, their own possessions. The clothes do not belong to the dance club. This is not a uniform (like, for ex. Police uniform) that needs disposing off in a special way. I'm guessing special uniforms can't be given away or sold.

Did they actually scream in your daughters face? Bit unlikely, although I appreciate that whatever they did your DD felt quite shaken by it.
In your shoes I would firstly go and see them and calmly but firmly ask what happened and depending on that explain how their actions were completely unacceptable
Then I would work on my daughters resilience as its quite an extreme reaction to being told off

I'd go in and tell them that your daughter and her friends gave away their uniform which they are perfectly allowed to do, that it is unacceptable to shout at them and that if they'd like to have a "chat" with your teenage daughter they should ensure a parent or guardian is present. I'd also tell them that if they want to start threatening bogus legal action against teenagers and refuse to apologise to my daughter you'll be starting a Facebook group/community initiative to encourage other parents to donate their kids' uniforms to younger attendees to save them money too thus costing the business more revenue.

My duaghter would have been upset for being shouted at for doing a kind thing.

Id actually be wondering whether this was a club u wanted my child to attend if its run in this way, especially after all the revelations about gym coaches. Are there any others in the area?

No I believe they fully screamed in their face. I mean I wasn't there but my daughter said one of them banged their hand on the table and screamed at the top of their voice, "who do you think you are messing with my money". I have no interest in going and having a word with them I want to report the organisation and the individuals involved but I don't know who to report to.

Do they plan to continue gymnastics there? I would be tempted to report to British Gymnastics.

And this just sums up the toxic culture in gymnastics. Doesn't surprise me in the slightest sadly. And yes, I imagine they did scream in her face.

Ring British Gymnastics now and make a formal complaint.

British Gymnastics is the governing body. If they have charitable status could also report to Charity Commission.

No they will never be going back there, they were already on the brink of leaving before this anyway as there was a few other things went on once this new group together, for example they made a girl quit as she wasn't comfortable wearing a particular outfit and they refused to compromise

Please do complain. My daughter went through 4 years of hell in gymnastics due to abuse. No one outside believes how bad it is and puts it down to non resilient kids etc. It's not. It's their culture.

My daughter did gymnastics for years and I agree it can be incredibly aggressive if doing competitive gymnastics with some pretty vile people involved.

British Gymnastics and make merry hell.

If in Scotland there is also Scottish Gymnastics

If they screamed at young children then they shouldn't be doing that job. Contact the organisation and start the complaints process. I would try to arrange a meeting with the most senior person you can get hold of. Get the children to write down exactly what was said including their rage and aggression and how it made them feel. If they've done this before, then see if you can get further witnesses. Build a case against them.

If they screamed, I would report them. Please tell your daughter that some adults have no emotional intelligence and control. She can’t control their reaction and did nothing wrong. My club actually runs a swap shop for goodness sake! People like that shouldn’t train young people

Report to British Gymnastics as others have said. Whilst it is relatively fresh ask your daughter (and any others there if possible), verbatim what was said and what happened and write it down as a record. Note the time and date of the incident. Also note the psychological impact on your daughter. If it comes to be investigated all this will be evidence of what happened. There are duties of care for minors and these have clearly been breached.
Reassure your daughter that she did nothing wrong and that you are taking the incident seriously.

it was your daughter who described the coach as screaming in her face to you?

does the coach have form for this kind of behaviour

my spidey senses tell me there may be a touch of hyperbole at play here

worth checking the OP thread that she started yesterday

about an “incident” at a marks and spencer’s store involving , none other, than her DD

They shouldn't have raised voices, I would complain about that to British Gymnastics.

BUT, it was a little antagonistic of them to set up in the carpark. Word of mouth or social media would've been a better choice.

Ah. Hadn't twigged it was the same poster.