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Child mental health

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Issues with bio dad

1 reply

Angryelf1 · 19/06/2024 02:16

My son is 8 almost 9, I left his dad when he was 4. His step dad has been in his life since he was 5. My son has had a lot of issue with bio dad lying to him and their relationship is very rocky. My son now feel that he has a much better relationship with step dad than bio dad. He said "I feel like my dad is my step dad and is my real dad" (I don't want to use step dad's name so I put ***). My son feel very guilty for this. He now just assumes that bio dad is going to mess up again. He also feels like bio dad cares about his new baby. I told him at this point he need to not expect anything from bio dad, positive or negative, let life be what it is and if it gets better with bio dad than cool. I am not sure how to help him. I don't want to overly baby him but I also don't want him to feel like his feeling don't matter.

OP posts:
LadyMinerva · 19/06/2024 02:35

There isn't much you can do. Just let him talk to you about his feelings when he wants to. Never, ever bad mouth his dad in front of him but validate his feelings, i.e "i know you feel guilty but you don't need to, none of this is your fault" or "i know you are upset and it's ok to feel that way".

The only other thing here that will help your DS is time. Time and lots of love from you and your DH.

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