Autism and paranoia

[SoMauveMonty]

hi, I'm interested in hearing from anyone with experience of this as I'm wondering about my teenage DD.

She has autism - has never received a 'formal' diagnosis but the various tests/assessments she had during Y5 at primary flagged up "significant concerns". The consultant paed who saw her at the time said, as it typical with girls, she masked, and didn't tick enough boxes in any one specific area for her to give a solid diagnosis. But it's obvious - 5 years on - through her behaviour, learning ability etc that she has it in some form.

She's now 15 and over the past year or so has increasingly shown signs of what I'm wondering might be paranoia. At first i put it down to just the way she sees things - she's very black & white and has a strong sense of 'fair' so often grumbles about what she perceives to be unfair/unkind behaviour from her peers. But almost every day she complains that she's been "deliberately" hurt by other children - she talks of being pushed/kicked/having balls thrown at her face during sport etc And it's not just the usual rough and tumble, she sees it as deliberately aimed at her. Apparently the teachers never see it or do anything. When she's hurt, she says the other children ignore her but if another child is hurt they get lots of attention. At the moment she's fixated on her friendship group ignoring her and leaving her out of things, not messaging her after school etc (and is obviously keeping close tabs on when her friends are online). I regularly hear "everyone hates me, they're all bastards". She's also developing quite significant health anxiety - every day she complains of aches and pains (as far as I'm aware there is nothing wrong) and gets very distressed if she's genuinely unwell - a cold is pneumonia, a headache a brain tumour etc

She's a clever girl and has a lovely sense of humour but i must admit i'm getting worried about how this seems to be taking hold and what, if anything, can be done. I spend half my life calmly reassuring her but it just isn't helping.

Bump

IME the aches and pains are physical symptoms of the mental unrest DD was feeling but didnt have the emotional inteliigence or words to identify. She would get so many tummy aches and was convinced it was physical illness - even in the face of me saying "do you think you might be worried about X, you felt the same before Y do you remember" Psychologist says it might be linked and she's all on board with it. A lot of the headaches are real physical ones from just dealing with all the hustle and bustle of school and socialising and masking - again, she didn't understand that until she read about it in a book and then was more keen to wear Loop earbuds, get blue light blocking tint in her specs and take time out.

The paranoia is something my autistic DS used to have, because he was so physically sensitive he'd get nudged in the corridor and it would feel like a push, and obviously it was deliberate because who would walk into someone otherwise? Whereas in reality it was just kids being kids. He would very quickly catastrophise about every social situation as well - now DD might do as well, but she'd always do it in her head and not out loud which is more typical of girls with ASD.

How close are you to getting an official diagnosis?