Hello Mumsnetters,
I am writing somewhat in desperation, hoping to find anyone going through similar issues with their daughters, or who might have been where we are and can offer some assurance/guidance.
Our lovely 8.5 year old has always been what I would describe as emotional and sensitive. For example, if a friend left school, she would cry for weeks. When SATS happened, there was much “stress” and tears. She is very smart and very in touch with her feelings (but immature/innocent in other ways, e.g very young in her play and in the things she enjoys).
Day to day she has loads of friends, and until now has certainly been the easier child between her and her older brother (who had numerous behavioural issues until he turned 10 and has since been much better). She usually just gets stuck in and slots in to whatever we are doing. During the day I would say she is happy, and has never refused to go to school. But she does frequently report “missing me”, and I get the impression her teacher is at the end of her rope with DD’s emotions too!
In a nutshell, DD is extremely emotional - over thinking, worrying, describing herself as feeling stressed and “trapped in a box”. Most nights she has episodes of crying at bedtime - interspersed with big deep and meaningful chats about her feelings (which she articulates very well, but can’t pinpoint specific triggers or anything she’s actually upset about). She just talks about negative feelings and a sadness. This has been happening on and off (mostly on), since we left the UK to move abroad almost a year ago. I wrote a separate thread about her homesickness - which she did identify and talk about, but that seems to have passed somewhat.
My first question; how much of this is normal for 8yr old girls? I see a lot of me in her (I was a worrier, and I was very mature very young). Could it be hormones already?
Does this sound like depression? Could it be depression triggered by an international move? If so, how would you manage it? I desperately hope it’s a phase but I feel totally hopeless and unable to support her.
What we are doing/have tried:
- Mindfulness club at school - fab at getting her to label her feelings but also became a bit like “sad club” - and misery likes company.
- Talking it out at bath-time instead of in bed - futile…
- Generally being a supportive, kind, reassuring, lovely mum and dad.
- Trying not to let it become habitual, it’s always at nighttime
I would be so so grateful for any stories, advice, or support. Or to be told it sounds like we need help…
Thanks for reading this far.