Child With Worrying Thoughts

[SeverusSnake]

My DS (11) has started counselling to help him with severe anxiety. We think this stems back from me having cancer last year and spending months in and out of hospital.

He has said this morning that he worries that in the future he won’t be able to cope with his feelings and will do something to end his own life. He says some times things are overwhelming and he’s scared that won’t change. He doesn’t want to hurt himself now.

I don’t know what to do or how to help him. I don’t know If it’s a situation that needs immediate help or were to get it. DS is telling me he won’t speak to anyone else about this. He doesn’t want the school knowing. He won’t speak to a Doctor. I have encouraged him to speak to his therapist but he says he is worried if he does she’d just tell someone else anyway.

I can’t get to the bottom of why he doesn’t want other people to know. He hates not being in control/ not knowing what comes next. He says he can talk to me and of course he can. But I don’t know how to fix it.

The GP does need to know, and I’d be asking for a referral to CAMHS.
Is there any signs of SEN?

Possible signs of SEN - we have often wondered about ADD but he is diagnosed with Dyspraxia only.

DS is very black and white in his thinking. He says he won’t speak to the GP and will never speak to me again about anything important if I do.

Young Minds is a brilliant child mental health charity. Have a look at their resources.

So sorry to read this. I recommend the book What To Do When You Worry Too Much. I found it hugely beneficial both in explaining obsessive thoughts and helping to calm them.

he worries that in the future he won’t be able to cope with his feelings and will do something to end his own life. He says some times things are overwhelming and he’s scared that won’t change. He doesn’t want to hurt himself now.

Would it help him if you talked about how it is very common to feel this way which is why confidential services like Samaritans exist, for when the feelings are strong. But that his feelings will become more manageable once past puberty as his hormones settle, he becomes more used to himself and his confidence grows because he has increasing control over his life.

He's had to adjust to the thought of life without you, he probably had a safety valve that said 'if things get bad I tell mum' and now the cancer has rocked that, so he needs support adjusting to his new understanding of reality (that a parent could die).