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Sexual behaviour by a 6 year old

13 replies

Anxious13 · 20/04/2024 00:44

Hi there,

My ds is 5.5 years and has a friend at school (another boy) who is 6 years old. My ds told me that the boy said let's go to the toilet and show each other our willies. Then once in the toilet, the boy said let's lick each other's willy... the boy is quite dominating, so my son did it and the boy licked his willy. He told me about the incident before bedtime, thinking it was a funny thing that he had done. The boy also threatened him by saying that, he will cut off his foot if he tells the teachers. I am a little distressed by this and know that my son would never have come up with this kind of an idea. I am planing on telling the teachers on Monday but out of my depth in terms of how best to approach this. I asked my son where the teachers were when this incident happened, and he said the teachers were in the playground. The boys are not allowed to go to the toilet together. I am also concerned that the boy might have got this idea from somewhere closer to home and that he might be subject to this at home by someone familiar to him... please advise as to what I should do...very upset by all of this. Thank you in advance.

OP posts:
ditalini · 20/04/2024 00:52

"Best" case scenario is that the boy has been exposed to porn, worst case is much worse, but this isn't "show me yours and I'll show you mine" stuff.

Inform the school first thing Monday and they'll take it from there.

MalibuBarbieDreamHouse · 20/04/2024 00:53

I’m sorry OP that’s tough. I would drop your child off in the morning as normal, and go to the reception and ask to speak to a senior member of staff urgently. The school should invest this promptly.

With your son, I would really go over private areas. There’s loads on NSPCC about ‘pants’ kids find it very entertaining, but it gets the message across (I am an ex teacher) also boundaries, what to do if he feels uncomfortable, it maybe the case you need to have a few conversations with him, not to revisit what happened but to ensure he remembers, his body his choice etc.

Sagarmatha · 20/04/2024 01:24

Ring the NSPCC tonight or tomorrow.

everydaywonderful · 20/04/2024 01:25

I wouldn't be waiting until Monday - who knows what is happening to that child over the weekend

blanketfortden · 20/04/2024 01:46

Ring the NSPCC asap for advice.

idontthinkimunresonable · 20/04/2024 02:08

Oh god OP I wouldn't be able to wait until Monday. I think you need to call the nspcc for advice urgently. I'm sorry.

MintHedgehog · 20/04/2024 03:45

Don’t wait until Monday. Your local council will have a way for you to report safeguarding concerns - google your local council name + child safeguarding team. Contact details will also likely be listed in your child’s school safeguarding policy. You will find this on the school website.

There will also be contact details for the school designated safeguarding lead within the policy. Email them now - this will likely be monitored over the weekend.

Houseinawood · 20/04/2024 03:55

This is peer on peer abuse and highly worrying.

The other child threats if he told anyone etc

Email the safeguarding lead (look at the website) and the head. I would ring the NSPCC for advice and your local duty social services.- they should have a 24/7 line.

As far as your son goes he did well to tell you so praise him for this. Reiterating boundaries eg what other people can and can not do.

I took my son with an infected penis to the GP once and she was so good with my son - asked if she could look and asking if she could touch and explained he did not have to say yes but why she was asking and explained. She was quick and explained the treatment etc but what you describe goes beyond look and giggle - he could of seen porn or been abused and tgs secrecy is worrying

Ilovegoldies · 20/04/2024 04:01

Ring NSPCC be careful replying folks.

Hiddenvoice · 20/04/2024 05:10

This is quite serious and I wouldn’t wait until Monday. Look on the schools website for the safe guarding lead and email them. Explain you’ve a serious and worrying issue and need to speak to someone immediately.
In my school the safe guarding lead is available all the time and monitors the email.

I would also sit your son down and go over his body parts and things that he shouldn’t show people and things he shouldn’t allow others to touch. I would be gentle with this so he doesn’t feel like he’s getting into trouble it’s great he told you, you want to keep that open communication going. As others have said, there’s good info on the nspcc website for how to chat to him about it.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 20/04/2024 05:39

*Email the safeguarding lead (look at the website) and the head. I would ring the NSPCC for advice and your local duty social services.- they should have a 24/7 line.

As far as your son goes he did well to tell you so praise him for this. Reiterating boundaries eg what other people can and can not do.*

This is good advice. It really doesn't look like theirs any sort of accidental exposure if he knows this behaviour should be hidden from authority figures. Id be deeply worried for this child.

rzb · 20/04/2024 06:59

I'm sorry this has happened to your son. He has done well to report this to you.

The details of your son's disclosure definitely need to be reported, as it appears the other child has displayed problematic / harmful sexual behaviour. Please report it yourself today, keeping everything factual, e.g. 'My child told me that the other child did x/y/z' rather than 'The other child did x/y/z'. Your council should have a multi-agency safeguarding hub (MASH) with contact details online. If you aren't happy for whatever reason to approach the MASH directly, I would suggest emailing the school's safeguarding lead today - they may well check their emails over the weekend. They should make a referral. You may be offered some support for your son following the incident.

Your son may give you more detail over time. If so, please update the school's safeguarding lead with this information.

The NSPCC web pages have a lot of information available on normal sexual development and behaviours in children: Sexual development and behaviour in children | NSPCC Learning and harmful sexual behaviours, and how to respond: Responding to children who display sexualised behaviour (nspcc.org.uk).

Sexual development and behaviour in children | NSPCC Learning

Find out more about developmentally typical sexual development and behaviour in children and how to respond to inappropriate or harmful behaviour.

https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-health-development/sexual-behaviour/

CoralPanda · 04/05/2024 00:27

Sounds like the other boy is being sexually abused, definitely need to tell safeguarding at the school

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