17 years old constantly smiles at his own thoughts

[take10yearsofmylife]

Posting for traffic, I've got no where to go 😞

My son is 17, he used to be a happy, sociabl little boy before adolescent. Now he is constantly smiles at his own thoughts, it happens when his mind is not engaged with doing something like talking to people or playing games. It's like he is in a different world...

This becomes very problematic, he had a part time job working in a retail shop. Whenever he is not engaged, he starts to walk up and down and smiles at his own thoughts, he is like this at home everyday, otherwise he is a normal 17 years old. We are not able to change him because he is not aware of it when this happens... Unsurprisingly, the shop owner decided to 'let him go' shortly after, we were all extremely devastated as he really enjoyed it. I can't blame the shopkeeper neither because he does look crazy when it happens.

I really wanting to help him and CAMHS dismissed him. He had a few private psychologist sessions but they are totally useless to him, I guess because he is quite unusual...

I never seen anyone like him, not even on TV or internet search. He looks completely normal and able to socialising with people and strangers, but when his mind is not engaged, he walks into different world involuntary, he enjoys humours and giggles, I guess that is his fantasy world.

I don't really know what I am asking for.. I guess to see if anyone know anybody like my son?

I don't see what's wrong with smiling at your own thoughts?

He’s young, and ultimately, he probably sees this as a harmless and pleasurable activity. I know I do. Before you try and seek mental health advice perhaps there is a way you can help him develop self awareness. Try and talk to him about what happens beforehand and see if you can create almost a traffic light system so he can prevent it before it happens in inappropriate spaces. For example, he might notice that happens more when he’s tired so that could be an amber sign or he might notice that it happens everyday at a certain time so that could be a red sign.

Yes, if they’re on their own. Not if there are other people around. Would you really sit in the middle of your workmates and start grinning to yourself or laughing out loud at something in your head?

I'm another inattentive adhd person who does this.
I can laugh or cry myself to sleep if I'm just sat in my own head, without my other half chatting to me.
Does he seem to focus on this excessively and other things completely ignore? Such as housework/even drinking water until he realise he had a headache etc?
Give inattentive adhd a Google and see if any symptoms match, I have full on conversations with people I've not seen for 20 years in my daft head.

This sounds a bit like complex motor stereotypy. The Evelina centre at Guys Hospital has people who specialise in this. Pm me if you want more info.

To those who think this is hilarious, i hope you note that this is the 'Child Mental Health' board and not CHAT. Many of us here have experienced various neurological abnormalities that present in various odd ways.

To @TorroFerney you are particularly despicable for calling people 'Maniacs'.

I do it all the time i talk to my self as well and burst out laughing over random things i think of.
My son does the same we are normal i hope.

I can say i do it.

About 2 years ago, I encountered a very strange young man who made me feel really uneasy serving me in a shop. He was smiling oddly and it came across quite creepily. So he'd say, would you like a bag, for example then when I'd say yes please, he would go "hmmm." and then clearly had a thought and laughed and smiled about it, sort of shook his head sort of thing. This went on for quite a while and was really unnerving.

I'd encountered a few schizophrenics in my time and felt it might be that. One woman and a man I once supported both used to respond similarly to their "voices" but they also only heard "nice" voices that would tell them they were beautiful and sexy for example. So smilling and laughing, even giggling and blushing to seemingly "nothing" was quite common for them both and they'd sometimes ended up being picked on in public as people thought they were laughing at them or mocking them.

Anyway...in September, I was meeting my new Freshers for the first time (I'm a lecturer) and a young man pipes up, "where do you live?" then proceeds to tell me he once served me in a shop. Yep, the strange young man from above.

He's actually delightful, complete eccentric oddball, sees the entire world out of left field (hence the weird smiles) and...

Has inattentive ADHD which completely paralyses him at times and went undetected until recently.

I suspect something has been missed with your son. That being said, I'm not sure how much can be done about the smiling!

Sounds neurodivergent to me!

It sounds like maladaptive daydreaming.

Could he be autistic? Or have ADHD? Sometimes it can be hard to spot more mild forms of neurodivergence.

As a worst case scenario, smiling, giggling (that is out of context) and pacing could indicate psychosis.

No?? Most people don't go around grinning and laughing to themselves. I have an inner voice but you wouldn't catch me laughing to myself in public just because I thought of something funny.

My ds does a kind of hm hm thing when he’s not talking and I thought it was laughing at something on his phone but he’ll do it when just watching tv. He’s had a few tics when he was growing up too. He’s usually talking so not that noticeable!

This sounds like me. I've been certain I have inattentive ADHD for a while but can't get an NHS diagnosis. I'm certain DS has it and don't want him to have the same problems I've experienced - but I'm getting nowhere with school as he's bright, so perhaps it's been missed in your DS.

Yes, if they’re on their own. Not if there are other people around. Would you really sit in the middle of your workmates and start grinning to yourself or laughing out loud at something in your head?

I do this loads. I thought most people did. But I also have an insanely manic inner voice and occasionally an intrusive inner voice, especially when I’m tired. I also have ADHD traits such as I struggle with timekeeping and organisation and I’m a hideous procrastinator. However I definitely have friends and colleagues who do this who have none of these other traits and are otherwise completely normal. I’m quite surprised that people are quite surprised by this.

I think as a parent you know when something is not right though. Not right as in not normal for him. It’s unusual to suddenly become a massive daydreamer at 17 if he wasn’t before, but some people just have exceptional memories and vast inner worlds compared to others. I have a 19yo who for the longest time didn’t quite “get” that at work they were paying her to do a specific role and act in a specific way and treated it all very casually. At 17 she wouldn’t have thought there was anything wrong with bursting out laughing in front of customers. Maybe he just needs to learn to be a bit more professional, and to increase his ability to concentrate on what he’s being paid to do rather than let his mind wonder. Can he concentrate on things when he needs to? Is he getting enough sleep? And enough downtime before sleep. It’s knackering having your head full of stuff and my head is definitely noisier the more tired I am.

My asd child does this all the time . Just happy in their own thoughts. Mostly when bored or not busy

My Foster son does this. Sometimes when I'm driving him home from college he just starts laughing. I ask him what is funny. He says he doesn't know. He also paces up and down twirling a twiddle stick between his fingers. He grimaces too sometimes. He does have learning disabilities though. I often wonder what he's thinking about. It's like I can't reach him.

I'd be concerned about the possibility of psychosis.
Can you get your doctor's advice?

What's wrong with smiling? I know plenty of people who do this, it's a good thing

I would want to check out if he is hearing voices. Hearing voices is more common than you may think and often starts in late teenage years.

I do it. Am autistic and waiting for ADHD assessment.

Could be a tic. Both my son's started ticcing as teenagers albeit younger than your son. One would open his mouth widely repeatedly the other would twist his head to the side. One is diagnosed as ND one is NT and my NT son grew out of it, and for the other it's definitely reduced. Brains are rapidly changing as teenagers so odd neuro things can be normal but I agree with posters that say if it's interfering with his life and you are concerned don't be fobbed off x

I smile at my own thoughts. Doesn't everyone?
I love watching people on the bus randomly smiling in their own world

As do I - and I even talk to myself (not in public). I really don't see the problem OP. Do you actually know that this is why his employer let him go?