Anxiety

[1985LDD]

My son who is 6 is a socially anxious child
we went to a friends house yesterday and he couldn’t speak wouldn’t say please or thankyou and was coming across extremely rude . They gave him a jumper as a gift and he just threw it , I was so embarrassed but I know it’s because he doesn’t want any attention drawn to him. He acts silly and sometimes shouts when he’s feeling nervous . What can we do to help?

Have you done all the 'usual' things such as
. encouraging regular low stakes interactions such as a wave, or a hi to someone in passing, or a thank you in the shops
. role playing what is expected
. considered neuro diversity

Does he realise he will get more attention for not saying anything than saying just a little bit?

Yeah I have but he can’t even do that it’s like he freezes and words can’t come out but then at home he’s a chatterbox and he will answer questions at school in his class.

Oh, commenting in solidarity and so I can folllow.

My DS is 8 and sounds similar. But it's gotten worse. He is now likely to cook up big excuses for something he has been dying to do (eg, a sports event) because I know he's overwhelmed at the thought of it.

He has been caught in his older sister shadow his whole life. She is 1.5 yrs older and very articulate, smart and sensible. My son can be withdrawn in public and apper almost antisocial at family events for example just this weekend - but he's loud, energetic and enthusiastic at home. My family know to just let him be and that he will come out of his shell in his own time. But it is difficult. Especially when non family members expect a more typical response from a child and keep pushing for one.

Yea this is exactly like my son! I don’t want people to think he’s rude when he’s actually just shy but sometimes it really does come across rude . I just don’t want his anxiety getting any worse.