Camhs assessment

[SausageCasseroles]

So from Google I'm realising that camhs are for the most part pretty useless. This is terrifying.

My daughter tried to kill herself last week and in talking with her (she doesn't want to talk but in answering the questionairs and in her hospital psych assessment) it would seem she has constant thoughts of death and harming herself.

Yet she has no ACES, isn't unhappy at school, no obvious triggers (other than being autistic).

We have the assessment today. Is there anything I need to do or so to get support?

And if they don't what on earth do I do!? From reading about camhs general lack of support I'm actually now really scared.

Step away from Google maybe?

Thanks. Not helpful.

I've been googling previous threads here, and have had experience from being in local SEN groups enough to know it is very difficult to access support hence wanting advice from other parents who have been through it.

Have you?

My daughter was in that boat a few years ago. She isn't now. She has autism and adhd but at the time we didn't know that. The first we knew was at 15 she took an overdose. CAHMS were useless. Mainly because they had a large and long waiting list. I bypassed CAHMS and went private to Clinical Partners. They were a life saver. Yes it's expensive but what cost is life? Eventually 2 years later she finally got seen by CAHMS!

@Soontobe60 keep off threads like this if that's your shitty advice!

Thanks. I've been looking at counsellors locally but it seems such a minefield as I know that they work independently and in my mind I'd want to know them first (I know that's not possible) to know they're safe to work with my daughter. I'd far rather it be under the banner of the NHS.

We got an assessment within a week... so they are taking it seriously. But its whether anything will happen after that.

I think I'll need to emphasise how serious it is, but in front of her obviously, which is horrible.

I've been looking at some other threads and it seems camhs is woefully inadequate.

I'm terrified of losing my duaghter

If you're determined to go private I'd pick a psychologist not a counsellor. They have much higher levels of training including children and family training. Many counsellors have little to no training in working with children, may not be accredited with anyone, and aren't subject to HCPC regulations. For a high risk child any counsellor would be pretty worrying to take this on in my opinion. Good luck.

Not determined to go private. We're low income for a start.

But determined for her not to die. The counsellor locally who said they did autism and the such was charging 60 a week which we can't afford but would if it would save her obviously.

We can't afford a psych. But all the things you've said have been my fears about sourcing counselling myself.

I feel lost.

It’s not ‘shitty advice’. The worst people can do when they are in a crisis situation is turn to Google for answers. All you tend to get is negatives, as is the case here.
The worst thing about CAHMS is the extremely long waiting lists. From my experience of dealing with them, once a child is in the system and is being seen, then the system generally works.

I have brilliant results from camhs, my youngest is asc, adhd, anxiety disorder and has touretts and every appointment has been honest and positive. They have arranged and advised or everything to help. Also had help with self harming and depression (different child) and they got a brilliant counsellors involved , who actually wasn't the right fit for my child and after 2 sessions they changed counsellors who clicked instantly with my then 16 yesr old. It's hard going and the child needs to work really hard and want the help. The hardest thing is trusting someone with your child as you don't get to go into the meetings and get very little feedback.

No advice but <hug> - 5 years since my DD was in that situation. Taking her out of school away from the main problem was what worked for us, CAMHS were ok but it's just such a long process.

How old is she. Be firm and clear with them. Use PALS if needed. Consider private counselling if you can. But you might have a good CAMHS.

You have to be honest with CAMHS so they know how serious it is. The reason she has not been put on waiting list is because of suicide risk. you could also get some support from Young Minds and Papyrus. Write down before you go what you want to say

Ohdear that's all the things I could hope for her so really hoping she does get support. I'm worried I won't say the right things to trigger support.

Rachel - wow 5 years on. I'm so glad taking her iut helped. My duaghter really likes school but finds it overwhelming trying to keep up. She's SO bright she could be looking at As (7-9s) but the overwhelm with autism is worrying her she won't manage.

Darhon nearly 15.

I dont doubt individually camhs people are good - its just an overworked, under funded system and it appears locally being suicidal isn't necessarily enough for much support.

I dont even know what I want or what to ask for. But I know she doesn't talk to anyone and has really dark thoughts all the time and that's a ticking time bomb.

Kkneat - thanks. I need to work out how to phrase things this morning before the appointment as she'll say everything's fine and we don't have many obvious risk factors. (No abuse/safe home/no one in prison/no external trauma etc) I don't want her overlooked.

But from her forms and tlaking to her she is "always " thinking of death and constantly wants to be nor here and it's grown in the intensity in the last year. It's like her brain is compartmentalised as she will separately say she likes school, is looking forwards to seeing her friends etc.

I found papyrus but they were busy when I rang and now she's home 24/7 so I can't ring without her hearing.

It's the assessment today so I know there might be a waiting list for support after this (and from local sen groups that seems to be the case)

I used to work in Camhs and now work in the private sector, mainly with young people with ASD. They’re massively overstretched so yes, lots of people do report a bad service. Of course, as with anything, we’re less likely to hear positive stories than awful ones.

Anyway, my strong advice for you is to focus on talking about her low mood, suicidal thoughts and anxiety. Don’t underplay the suicidal thoughts, even if it’s very difficult to talk about. This is the part that they will take most seriously. Also, try not to talk too much about autism. This is because (horrific as it is) all the Camhs services I know of will try to discharge people if they believe the issues are autism-related. The reasoning I’ve heard over and over is ‘autism is a lifelong condition, not a mental health condition’. So it’s really important to communicate to them that the mental health problems she’s experiencing are in addition to her autism, not because of it.

Thinking of you and I hope the appointment goes well. Having a suicidal child is devastating and I really feel for you x

P.s. don’t worry too much about not having ACES. They look at a lot more than that during assessments.

I'm sorry to say, but having seen 4 teenage girls, and 2 teenage boys go through the system for varying degrees of issues, from serious and regular self harm to suicide attempts, none have been a good experience, for different reasons.

If you can go private, do so.

Camhs are not fit for purpose.

We were in this position 2.5 years ago. We focused on getting anti-depressants prescribed by the CAMHS psychiatrist (GP can't prescribe for under 18s). We put all our energy into getting an EHCP, and a place at an independent specialist autism school for DS to do A-levels. Although he thought he was coping fine at school, he absolutely wasn't and he was very traumatised. The school provides a psychologist, occupational therapist and speech and language therapy, which all helps with mental health and is so far beyond what the NHS can provide. He is thriving.

@SpringboksSocks Thankyou so much for posting.

*low mood suicidal thoughts anxiety. Will absolutely emphasise these thankyou. She's told me she's just decided she'll be fine so I'm worried she won't tell them this herself.

And yes the autism thing is partly what's worrying me. I've heard similar about autism and camhs and even asked about this in the hospital psych assessmenis who glossed Iver and said oh were all nd aware...poor child is doing assessments and surveys but no actual support)

But it is linked to her autism. That's why she doesn't recognise feelings or know how to deal with overwhlem.

And actually why I'm so worried. If to her the "logical" thing to do when in meltdown/shut down is to "sleep forever" tk avoid it I have a really huge problem don't I?!

And also I believe cbt/some counselling is based in NT thought patterns and so really needs an autism aware practitioner as her brain processes differently...

So I don't know what to say.

And it's shocking autistic people are being ignored when I imagine given the high links with mh issues they're super vulnerable.

Egowise- I'm so sorry 😌.

Wow Bubbles that sounds fantastic provision we'll done.

I am wondering about medication. I've just spent ages going through withdrawals myself. I'm honestly not sure if meds are the right things but if it stops her feeling so awful she wants to die then it absolutely ism

I was wondering if I could get some of the extra support via EHCP but not sure exactly how well that will work givenneverything takes ages. School have been brilliant so far (well in the 3 days they've bene open since it happened) so I can imagine there's som flexibility there.

There isn't an independent academic autism school here (and from TV I believe there's 1 in the country for girls...)

She really wishes she wasn't autistic currently..gosh I'd love OT, salt and psych support. The extremes of provision are so unfair aren't they.

Didn't want to read and run, this was us and although our experience with CAMHS has been a very mixed bag of both clinical genius and some hair-raising missteps, it brought us out the other end in one piece. Definitely not out of the woods, but the challenges have shifted.

My advice would be to monitor your child's capacity for engagement with their clinical team and therapeutic process. My DC found it too much at various points and, believing that 'sticking at it' trumped all else, we missed some opportunities to listen and engage authentically with DC's budding sense of autonomy and self-determination, which is what was really needed, as it turns out.

Also found that CAMHS have the potential to be brilliant for parents if you lean into their offers of parenting support and family therapy etc. It is supportive in the truest sense and not an admission of 'failure' on the parents' part.

I second what Springbok says about autism.

@SausageCasseroles - sorry I meant that we're 5 years beyond now, not that we've been waiting 5 years. Just focus on what you have to do at the moment, with or without support. For example, my DD liked to feed the ducks... a lot of ducks had food that winter, and it was a silly thing that kept her going another 24 hours at a time.

To give you hope though, as I say we're 5 years the other side now, she's subsequently been diagnosed with ADHD and ASD, is quite stable now, and has gone to university this autumn.

Just take it a day at a time, and do whatever works for all of you.

Oh all up for parenting support of offered. (Ironically I work in a similar field)

I'm so aware that what I say can affect the way forwards and as everything SEN knowing the system helps. But I feel indont know enough.

And the autism is key to it all amd the wrongnpracticioner who doesn't get it could do so much more damage....

So glad you're out of the woods and she's at uni. Mine wants to do uni and earn well and succeed etc. I hope she can.

Re autism- I bet there are so many undiagnosed girls in the system.... the psych in the hospital did at least say it wasa relief she was already diagnosed - so we don't have to fight that battle. I've wondered about adhd too but there is so much overlap.

Things she likes. I've tried to have a "what keeps you well" type conversatuon with her but she can't think of things she likes/that helps other than mindless scrolling.

(And also I'm aware through work I have resources I could use but also feel as a parent my role is different. Oh this is so hard.)

Hi, yes I’m sure it is linked to her autism, and having an autism-aware practitioner will be best, so fingers crossed for that🙂. I would absolutely mention autism, but I would focus as much as you can on the risk and on her mood/suicidal thoughts.

The reality is that people with ASD have increased risk of mental health problems (as do people with ACES), rather than that mental health problems are a symptom of ASD.