Hello,
Looking for advice - I am in a state of panic which isn’t helping me to remain rational.
Tried so hard to keep this post small but it’s turned out to be massive, sorry.
DD is 13. Generally doing well in her wee life. In secondary school, small group of friends. Some issues in the group but I didn’t see this as being too significant. But want to mention anything that could be relevant. She is NT.
She has always been an anxious wee girl, would be described as a worrier I suppose. Can overthink things. Flip side of that is she achieves in school, loves learning, has always had friends, goes to extra curricular activities etc. Is pretty confident in so many ways…None of that has changed.
A few weeks back she mentioned that a couple of times a feeling of sadness has come over her but that it has passed. We chatted about it and as always I said to come and speak to me or her dad about anything at all.
Last week one day she had to come home from school because she felt dizzy. Someone fainted in school the day before and I wondered if that was a trigger. By coincidence someone fainted a few days later which made her anxious about fainting and lots of questions about that.
That night she was very anxious and said she was worried about death and dying.
The next night she was worried about things being real. Said she hated philosophy in school as it makes her question everything.
Since then we’ve had lots of worries - she speaks of a feeling coming over her. Called me one day in school and what she described to me was a panic attack. I spoke to her on the phone and she calmed down - I encouraged her to do a grounding exercise where you look at objects you can see, feel and then some box breathing (sorry if using wrong terminology!)
So for a week she just hasn’t been right. She’s describing what I think is anxiety based on my own experience.
Last night she told us that she’s worrying about suicide - she said she doesn’t want to hurt herself and doesn’t want to die. The opposite - she is scared she will hurt herself. I asked her if she is scared of becoming unwell mentally and she said yes. Says the word suicide has been coming in to her head at random points over the last week. That it happened once before In October but went away. It is scaring her and she wants it to go away. Yesterday she had a small disagreement with a friend and she said after that it’s all she could think about - suicide.
I am writing this quickly and trying not to make it too long - we have spent so much time talking over the last week, practicing different strategies to make her feel calm etc. Lots of cuddles and reassurance.
We’ve worked out that last month when she got the sad feeling and the thoughts she got her period 9 days later. And her period should be due fairly soon, although isn’t always regular so might not be! Again, may or may not be relevant but I don’t want to leave anything out.
Now for the background. I will summarise.
DD suffered a significant medical trauma when she was 5. Required brain surgery - a couple of very minor lasting physical damage affects.
She also has experienced two other medical emergencies - anaphylaxis. She has severe allergies and carries epipens. Her allergies can make her very anxious at times - trying new food was a big no for so long. This seems to have improved a little over the last 10 months or so.
In 2020 at the start of the pandemic she also experienced severe sleep anxiety - it was a very difficult few months of bed sharing, bed swapping, being up all night, lots of fears associated with bedtime, lots of tears. It was actually awful. So much better now - still doesn’t always feel settled at bedtime but on the whole she sleeps very well.
So…I think that’s everything.
I am terrified - she says she doesn’t want to hurt herself, she doesn’t want to die. She has gone to school, went to her club last night etc. But the word, and the thought keeps coming in to her head.