My daughter, age 13 and in year 8, is struggling a little at school with some issues that (although I’m no expert!) look related to neurodiversity i.e. needing to fiddle with something, fidgeting, needing to stand up (she told me she throws her pen in front of her desk on purpose so she can get up and walk around to get it), being late to class because she says she’s not even aware of the bell ringing, being disorganised and losing her pens and also shouting out in class (not like a tics thing, but for example she’ll realise the answer to a question and shout it out without realising).
Having taken the time to sit and write out the above it seems like a long list! The disorganisation thing is evident at home, too, where I need to sit with her to do homework, ensure she takes her inhaler for asthma etc. It can be exhausting to remember everything for her- I have a younger daughter aged 11 who doesn’t have the same needs.
On the face of it, she’s doing well academically and keeping up and I’m really proud of her for that. She gets low-level warnings for her behaviour - nothing major. Her friendships are fine. But it’s the fact she’s coming to me as these issues are bothering her and I feel she wants to understand them better and know how to handle them.
It’s a challenging one- or maybe it’s not and I’m overthinking it. When she was in year 2 at primary school, she had the same issues and her teacher suggested that she might need to be assessed for a neurodiversity issue. But at the same time she was doing well academically and the issues seemed to settle down and not be a problem anymore.
This pattern has reoccurred throughout her school life- occasional ‘flare ups’ if you like, but no major problem.
The difference now is that, age 13, she wants to understand and manage it better and I have no idea where to start! We’ve talked about it, I’ve asked her what she thinks would help and she says she doesn’t know. She’s wary of getting any official diagnosis as she thinks some children she sees at school are treated differently because of that?
I’m the same- I’d be happy to support her needs however. Should I be looking at some kind of diagnosis? Would it be helpful? Would it be a nightmare and take years? Is there something else I could do, any kind of private help for us both I could look at? Or just some simple reading for us both with helpful tips?
I’d also like to speak to the school and see what help they can offer but I want to seek some advice first!