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Original poster

Too much contact with dad

3 replies

mamadance · 16/10/2023 22:18

Hello, I am so devastated to be another one let down by family court.
Not only were DV allegations not found (seemed they couldn’t be bothered) my narcissistic toxic ex got away with SO much hurt and damage and has come out with a huge amount of contact which isn’t what Cafcass recommended.

DS is 3, he has been struggling with over night contact for the last 3/4 times. This was expressed but ignored, they have upped the contact to every other weekend for 3 nights. DS comes back after one night atm absolutely exhausted and upset and is upset with me as he said he didn’t want to stay there, I feel awful and guilty that I’m sending him away crying and it’s breaking my heart.
Cafcass recommended a dinner every Wednesday which we have been doing, the judges decided that should increase to a full over night when he starts school.
I totally disagree and feel it will be too much for a child just of 4 adjusting to school too, 4
nights in one week. It will also be confusing that he comes back to me for one night and then goes again on the Friday for a full weekend until Monday.

I know my DS and this will not do him well, he is showing such signs of distress about sleeping places and is even worried when we visit family and friends and asks if he’s staying, something again ignored by judges.

why should it take for DS to be negatively impacted for me to apply for an appeal!? I am so shocked they went against what Cafcass had said. Has anyone else experienced this?

myself and my DS are going to struggle with this and I am so worried about his mental health now.

ANY advice please??!!

OP posts:
Mummyforjustice · 20/10/2023 21:47

Hi all. I have been experiencing attacking biased reports by cafcass over the last 2 years and they have completely sided with my manipulative toxic narcissistic abusive ex and now supervised contact will start next week with HIS SISTER being the supervisor with my 3 year old son. This atrocity was decided by a judge. His sister has had an issue with me since 2015 and has never been a part of my sons life, not a card or anything, no congratulations and now she is enjoying the fact she has won control over me and taken my rights away. I have suffered abuse by this family since 2015. There is no remorse from them just denial and I can see my son will suffer massively with this.
I want to do a campaign against cafcass and taking it to the ombudsman or MP. They do not act in the best interest of the child and the organisation is an utter sham allowing innocent children to fall through the cracks and opening them up for poor mental health and trauma, that we as mums or dad's have worked hard to avoid. Can anyone help me with the best route to take?

Also my mum has been ordered to do the handover, if my son is distressed and doesn't want to go. Can we rusfe to let him go or must he be taken without a choice. This would be very traumatic for my son and mother. Any advice on this please as forcing a child against his will when his scared is also child abuse, or does court orders override what is child abuse?

warrior2018 · 05/07/2024 09:28

Mummyforjustice · 20/10/2023 21:47

Hi all. I have been experiencing attacking biased reports by cafcass over the last 2 years and they have completely sided with my manipulative toxic narcissistic abusive ex and now supervised contact will start next week with HIS SISTER being the supervisor with my 3 year old son. This atrocity was decided by a judge. His sister has had an issue with me since 2015 and has never been a part of my sons life, not a card or anything, no congratulations and now she is enjoying the fact she has won control over me and taken my rights away. I have suffered abuse by this family since 2015. There is no remorse from them just denial and I can see my son will suffer massively with this.
I want to do a campaign against cafcass and taking it to the ombudsman or MP. They do not act in the best interest of the child and the organisation is an utter sham allowing innocent children to fall through the cracks and opening them up for poor mental health and trauma, that we as mums or dad's have worked hard to avoid. Can anyone help me with the best route to take?

Also my mum has been ordered to do the handover, if my son is distressed and doesn't want to go. Can we rusfe to let him go or must he be taken without a choice. This would be very traumatic for my son and mother. Any advice on this please as forcing a child against his will when his scared is also child abuse, or does court orders override what is child abuse?

No advice but I have similar experience w cafcass siding w my emotionally abusive ex. He was emotionally abusing our kids and I submitted over a years documented evidence of this and it was dismissed by her completely. They’re absolute scumbags 🤬

Babadook76 · 05/07/2024 09:29

mamadance · 16/10/2023 22:18

Hello, I am so devastated to be another one let down by family court.
Not only were DV allegations not found (seemed they couldn’t be bothered) my narcissistic toxic ex got away with SO much hurt and damage and has come out with a huge amount of contact which isn’t what Cafcass recommended.

DS is 3, he has been struggling with over night contact for the last 3/4 times. This was expressed but ignored, they have upped the contact to every other weekend for 3 nights. DS comes back after one night atm absolutely exhausted and upset and is upset with me as he said he didn’t want to stay there, I feel awful and guilty that I’m sending him away crying and it’s breaking my heart.
Cafcass recommended a dinner every Wednesday which we have been doing, the judges decided that should increase to a full over night when he starts school.
I totally disagree and feel it will be too much for a child just of 4 adjusting to school too, 4
nights in one week. It will also be confusing that he comes back to me for one night and then goes again on the Friday for a full weekend until Monday.

I know my DS and this will not do him well, he is showing such signs of distress about sleeping places and is even worried when we visit family and friends and asks if he’s staying, something again ignored by judges.

why should it take for DS to be negatively impacted for me to apply for an appeal!? I am so shocked they went against what Cafcass had said. Has anyone else experienced this?

myself and my DS are going to struggle with this and I am so worried about his mental health now.

ANY advice please??!!

How’s he getting on now op? Have you appealed?

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