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Child mental health

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Mum taking 16 year old out drinking

4 replies

hellinahandcart700 · 24/09/2023 01:36

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and lived with him for 2. He has 3 children, the eldest came to live with us last year, she was 15 at the time and had really bad mental health problems exacerbated by drugs and alcohol. I didn't want her to move in due to disruption but she did. Anyway, she's been a lot better, did ok in her exams and is now at college. The only issue now is her irresponsible mother who takes her out drinking and lets her get blind drunk. My stepdaughter always falls out with her mother and comes back highly emotional, abusive and sometimes suicidal. I am struggling to cope with this even though I do my best to support the girl. We have spoken to her mother who will not take any responsibility for it and we have to keep having the repercussions of this that can go on for hours. No one gets any sleep and sometimes ambulances have to be called or the police. We have cahms and social services visits and they have been told about her mother but nothing is done. We feel stuck as we can't prevent her from going out with her mum or prevent the inevitable. It is affecting my relationship with her dad but I know its not his fault either. Anyone any ideas?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 24/09/2023 01:45

If this situation is detrimental to your well-being it's ok for you to leave.

You do not need to sacrifice your own happiness and peace for your boyfriend's child. You are not her mother, you are not responsible for this situation, and, as you know, nothing you do can change anything.

You have to ask yourself if this is what you want to contend with for the rest of your life.

hellinahandcart700 · 24/09/2023 01:51

Aquamarine1029 · 24/09/2023 01:45

If this situation is detrimental to your well-being it's ok for you to leave.

You do not need to sacrifice your own happiness and peace for your boyfriend's child. You are not her mother, you are not responsible for this situation, and, as you know, nothing you do can change anything.

You have to ask yourself if this is what you want to contend with for the rest of your life.

Good lord - the rest of my life?? She will leave home at some point!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 24/09/2023 01:55

hellinahandcart700 · 24/09/2023 01:51

Good lord - the rest of my life?? She will leave home at some point!

She's never going to leave your life, op, and the older children get, the bigger their problems become.

Burntouted · 08/10/2023 04:49

This doesn't have to be the rest of your life. It is okay to leave this and any relationship. Perhaps find someone without any children.

Also, parenting doesn't stop when she leaves. It is for life.

She'll be in your life for as long as you remain.

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