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School Anxiety

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OnNaturesCourse · 21/08/2023 10:18

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School anxiety and tears...
0 replies

OnNaturesCourse · Today 09:48

Wondering how to help my DC with this.

Started school last week and it went really well, better than expected. DC is a worrier. Anxiety for starting school has been around for about 6 months now. Yet they went into school for the first 4 days absolutely fine.

Friday came and we had some tears at the gate and was reluctant to leave my side but eventually was happy to go with the teacher and line up. Plenty waves and smiles once in the line.

Put it down to tiredness.

This morning however it was a repeat of Friday but worse as DC wouldn't go with the teacher, and was proper loud sobbing. Physically holding onto me even through the school gates. Eventually the head teacher came and took their hand to get them into school. DC was so upset that head teacher took them straight into school, no lining up etc so they didn't get to see their friends before going in. (actually their little friends seen DC upset and was put off approching them to say morning etc)

DC seems to enjoy school once they are in albeit they remain quiet in the class and playground. Stick to the same 2 or 3 friends like glue.

I really want to help bring on their confidence in social situations to help them in school... But how? We already do some out of school classes and activities (again DC has struggled to make connections here and often just sticks to the teachers/coaches) We do things like the park and soft plays etc but DC will happily play alone or sticks to their younger siblings.

Aside from the social skill DC is doing grand. Very bright and happy. Once they make a connection they are very good at communication (but they do have a slight speech pronunciation issue with some sounds which has been addressed with a therapist).

I am sure there have been others in similar situations and wonder what you done to help?

For reference I was similar in that I hated social situations as a child but it was dealt with by over protecting me (parents took me into the class, stayed at parties and I was never really left with others, missed out on clubs I wanted to do because I didn't like being left) I don't think this helped me at all because when social situations were unavoidable my anxiety went through the roof and I didn't have the skills to cope with it. Still now, 20 odd years later I remember the feeling. I don't want this for my child.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 21/08/2023 12:25

Would they be better going to breakfast club, so they’re not saying bye in the playground with the others ?

OnNaturesCourse · 21/08/2023 12:53

We tried that today... Spent the half hour of breakfast club just convincing them to go into the school playground.

OP posts:
cansu · 28/08/2023 20:48

Isn't this normal for kids starting school? Unless this is beyond the normal I would adopt the bright and breezy approach. Headteacher taking them in was probably best thing. I will be shot down for this but in most cases it is better to say goodbye quickly with a kiss and have a lovely day. I will see you at home time. You say yourself that your parents' approach didn't help you.

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