Please or to access all these features

Child mental health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

I’m so confused

1 reply

Missdan · 17/08/2023 06:21

first time here with learning disability so hope this all makes sense.

me and my partner broke up from a 7 year relationship in February, very toxic, he was abusive, using drugs, attacking me in front of child etc. our son has severe autism and is nonverbal. I’ve been wanting to cut contact for sometime as I just feel he’s too much of a risk. He’s never been aggressive or anything toward him but he’s acted out in front of him many times even to a point he went for my while I was holding him.

his nan (dads side) is a big support and a lot of the reason I haven’t acted is due to her. However yesterday I’ve found out that he (sons dad) has a new girlfriend (even though he’s still been abusive towards me, Saturday he went through my iPad and screamed down the phone at me with me son still there about dating other guys etc) I learn that they’ve been together a couple of months and they’ve been taking my son out together, I really feel like it’s crossed a line. Not only is he unstable but he’s now bringing people around my son and abusing the fact he can’t talk so I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t trust him, I don’t know her and I just really don’t feel comfortable.

I’ve explained my feeling and been met with a lot of abuse from him. I actually have no issue with the girlfriend as this means he’ll hopefully now stop being controlling and abusive towards me. But I just don’t trust the situation. I’m not sure what to do?
my friend thinks if I act now I’ll look like the jealous ex, I should have done this sooner before all of this she is advising me but when your being manipulated and controlled and after going through everything I’ve been through it’s a little hard to have the strength and see clearly but honestly I’m just at the point where I’m genuinely scared as there seems to be no limited to how he thinks it ok to act. He’s repeatedly lying about it all but his mum has told me the truth. What do I do?

OP posts:
AbraKadabraPoof · 19/08/2023 19:35

I understand that you will have perhaps a biased opinion on the situation due to being with him and under his control, but trust me when I say that from the little you have said, you must cut all contact with him and get police involved if need be. That man is absolute scum. It makes me angry to think he thinks he can be so terribly abusive to you including screaming and hurting you on top of doing it in front of your son, not only that but to then quickly get a new girlfriend whilst still having control of you!? I don’t know how he can wake up in the morning and go about his day to be honest, pure scum who is lower than a weasel coward. I’m sorry you’ve had to endure all of this and I hope you can get a completely cut away from him. He doesn’t deserve to see your son given what he has done. That may sound harsh to you at this moment, but you’ll be so much better for just cutting away from him completely.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page