Hi,
first post so apologies if I do something wrong and for the length!
I (dad) have an 11 year old daughter who is starting secondary in just over a week (Scotland). We don't have a formal diagnosis but she has been seeing a private therapist and PDA seems like a likely fit.
She has mostly loved primary but the transition to high school has knocked her and she has terrible anxiety about the number of students and expectations that will be placed on her. It affected primary school for last few months and was a challenge some days going in. School refusal stages but we managed to get her into building each day even if not into class. We had some transition time at secondary but she stayed mostly in the learning support rooms and only for parts of the day. My wife or I stayed in the school reception as it was really only way of getting her there. She was very positive right after these transition sessions and feeling confident etc. but it was a huge hurdle to get in there and 24 hours later she would feel less positive about it. The secondary school seem to have a good approach and are supportive and understanding (but limited in resources). Together we've all tried to follow recommended steps around this kind of transition.
We've been reading books, blogs, Not-Fine-in-School etc. and the "low demand" approach has really helped, at least in terms of understanding, as has the PDA Society website. We're on CAHMS list but had a recent letter to basically say "sorry but it could be years before we can help, good luck". I've little expectation of support there and want to invest my energy positively whilst also prompting that process along in background.
I'm better understanding how our daughter has been masking and in a way I feel like this has meant less support is provided (or will be provided) as she sits under the radar so well - to a point. I can see where most school staff struggle to understand anything is wrong or think she just needs pushed to do something (which then backfires!). She is doing well academically and has a great bunch of friends.
As a family we've had a bit of a break from the stress of it all over summer holidays but with the new school starting soon she is adamant that she won't go. At same time she will talk about the school layout and I can sense she wants to go and even accepts it will happen.
Like with the transition sessions I do genuinely feel like she'll enjoy herself if we can get her inside the school building and over that initial anxiety wave.
I was wondering if anyone has any specific experience around PDA and a transition like this that might help us on the 1st day / week?
Thanks for reading.