9yo pulling hair out

[Notjustabrunette]

My 9yo DD has been pulling out her hair. I’ve noticed bald and thinning patches today. I’ve spoken to her about what’s going on. She has said she’s been doing it for a couple of weeks, which makes sense as I’ve only just noticed and I blow dry her hair and put it up in a pong tail for swimming etc.
I’ve asked her if anything has been worrying her as I’ve read it could be related to anxiety etc. she says she’s fine and doesn’t know why she’s doing it.
she’s said she will stop and got upset when she saw the patches in the mirror.
I’ve given her fidget toys to play with to keep her hands busy and away from her hair.
Does anyone else have experience of this? If she doesn’t stop, what is the next action, go to the GP?

This is trichotillomania and is sensory-seeking behaviour that can be linked to anxiety or OCD.
i would not try to deal with it myself; make a GP appointment to get up to date and expert advice.

I did this as a child. Eyelashes and scalp.
I did it initially when I was stressed and then it became almost compulsive.
I would speak to the GP.

Thank you for your replies, I’ll call the GP tomorrow. I feel so upset for her.

I’ve had trich since I was 14, I’m now 39. I’ve never seen a GP about it as I’ve always been too embarrassed, for me it’s triggered by boredom and stress/anxiety. I don’t get much time to be bored these days with work/house/kids but stress and anxiety make me want to pull my hair out. Usually it’s the hair on my head, and also my eyelashes, the hair on my head has become thinner but I’ve always managed to avoid a bald patch. However with my eyelashes I’ve had many times where I’ve pulled out so many that there’s only a few left, and then I have to use make up to cover up.
I would say definitely take her to speak to GP as the earlier she can learn techniques to distract from the urge to pull, the better.

Hi OP, my almost 9yo has been doing this too. I'm sorry to say the GP wasn't that interested. He referred him for blood tests (but couldn't say why), just didn't know what else to say, beyond that did not suggest anything else 🙄

I spoke to DS school sendco (he has asd diagnosis) and they're referring him to the providers they use for mental health, it's an outside agency that is connected to many primaries in our borough. I'd suggest a meeting with your senco as there should be something similar at your DD school they can put in place. You can also self refer to MASSH or CAHMS but I think there'll be a very long wait. My son is on the waiting list for a private therapist as I just didn't know what else to do in the meantime.

Have you tried fidget toys and other sensory equipment to 'divert' her? My son likes spinners and squishy worm type things.

I have trich too, it’s very common. Mine is under control now but as a child I’d have bald patches. Now I’m interested to learn that you are much more likely to have trich if you have ADHD!

I would also contact the gp. I've been doing it for years, definitely stress related but I also just feel the need to do it sometimes. It's satisfying and I think I get inflamed folicles and the pulling just spreads from there. Fidget toys might be a good idea, I pick at the skin around my nails too and am very tempted by those spinning rings. And keep talking, don't make it feel like she has to hide it.

I started this as a child too a little older maybe 13 my mum took me Gp and I went to a therapist, unfortunately it didn’t work and I still pull my hair out now 30 years later, I’ve never been depressed or stressed or suffered from anxiety i have no idea why I do it but it’s impossible to stop. Try seeing the GP hopefully the treatment will work for your daughter maybe the earlier it’s treated the better, you could also try putting her hair in styles that make it harder to pull like a French plait to try and break the habit. Hope you find something that works for her x

She has loads of fidget toys, I’ve hold her to use them when she thinks she might pull her hair. My husband has said he did it a bit as a child and is an eyebrow puller as an adult.
I’ll see if I can get any joy out of the GP and talk to her school when she’s back next week. Even if it’s just for her teacher to ok her having fidget toys with her.

A good friend of ours died recently so I’m wondering if that has worried her. The timing feels about right.

thanks again for all of your support.

@Notjustabrunette does she have long hair? You might want to discuss cutting it shorter with her. Absolutely not as a punishment but when my hair is long - and I have heard many hair pullers say the same - I can almost feel it heavy on my head. My scalp is much happier when it is short. But I appreciate this would be tricky to navigate as it is her hair and her decision.