Dd overdose

[TheChosenTwo]

And I’m so angry. I can’t quite understand why this is my most prevalent emotion.
She’s 17 and has done it before, 4 years ago. Some small episodes of self harm in the meantime. This time she took more tablets than before. She has been kept in overnight last night and will be in again tonight.
She can’t really identify a trigger other than a bad day yesterday.
DH is also furious. We are both struggling so much to put the anger aside but she knows we are disappointed and feel let down. And we know she’s feeling low and like shit so don’t want to further compound this.
is if ever okay to let your children know how much this hurts? Really at my wits end, desperate for this all to be behind us forever, it’s like being knocked by a sledgehammer every time.
I’m aware that I’m making dds crisis all about me in this post, obviously first and foremost we are very concerned about her well-being. I’m just letting off some steam that I haven’t been able to do in a very stressful 24 hours.

I'm so sorry to read this. I don't have any words of wisdom or advice but I didn't want to read and run. I have a child with mental health issues and this is one of the things I fear every day. Hugs for you

Just to add please don't let on that you are angry. I really don't think it will help. DD did something illegal and completely out of character last year and the absolute best thing we did was not to show anger, shout or get cross. That way we could keep the lines of communication open. I believe she's learned a hard lesson but our relationship hasn't suffered because of it.

Thank you @MaggieMagpie357 for sharing your experience. I agree and we both think it’s not good for her to pick up on this because ultimately she hit crisis point for some reason and something else took over.
It’s taken all our self control to not show our anger and I really don’t know why.
Anger came at a much later stage when this has happened before. We are both quite shocked at how we have felt this time.
and just obviously devastated. Such a helpless feeling, it’s beyond dreadful and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Having to remain falsely cheerful when at home with our younger one when I feel sick to my stomach and haven’t slept a wink is further compounding the difficulty.

Sending you huge hugs. Sounds very difficult.

That's really hard and I'm sorry to hear about your experience. Just to reiterate what's already been said - don't let on that you're angry. I'm in my early 30s and suffered with depression for many years, never self harmed, but felt suicidal on occasion. Sometimes my patients showed their anger and frustration and it made me worse, made me feel more isolated and more misunderstood. Over the years, they've got much better, acknowledged they didn't understand much about dealing with mental health issues, but helped me by being patient, listening to me, and not challenging how I feel. Even if you don't agree with why they feel certain things, you have to accept that that's the way they're feeling. I lived away - my mum would send me little things in the post, my dad would frequently ring just to strike up conversation with me. It was just little things that showed they cared.

Also crucially, make sure you signpost them to appropriate help. GP, counsellor, or medication if necessary. Be proactive, rather than reactive!

Thanks @piedbeauty
And thanks @pippabg - also really useful to hear from the other side as it were. The thing is we don’t really know anything about how to deal with what’s happened; there are signposts we are given to point us where to get her help but nothing about the immediate future.
Eg do I go into her room while she’s in hospital and raid it for pills or anything she can damage herself with? There won’t be anything left! Also it’s such an invasion of her privacy and trust. Is this a justifiable reason, because we think it will keep her safe?
Do we go back to removing all her tech like we did when she was still at school? Her sleep is atrocious so we used to take all her devices at 9 to encourage a more natural passive wind down, reading, writing, playing her instruments, even telly watching we didn’t mind so much it was more the constant engagement with friends at 3am that we were avoiding.
Last time this happened they advised me sleeping in her room with her for a few nights which I did, I might do this again.
I know logically that she isn’t happy and dh and I are desperately trying to help her. We have paid for a counsellor for years which had been beneficial but she said last night to one of the doctors that she wasn’t finding it useful at all.
sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I’m just typing as thoughts come in.

Hi @TheChosenTwo just wanted to check in on you today. I hope you're able to get some advice on how to cope once she's back at home from the hospital. Has she been visited by a psychiatrist or similar? When DD was self harming we were given advice by CAMHS but she was already being seen by them for separate issues.

I do hope you all get the support that you need. There are crisis lines like Mind, Calm and Samaritans which may be able to give you practical advice for keeping her safe. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Thanks @MaggieMagpie357 - she’s not able to be assessed by the psychiatrist until she’s medically deemed fit and her bloods were still not there yet yesterday so she’s been kept in overnight. Dh is with her now, there’s no update yet, I’m going in a bit to swap with him.
Good idea re calling one of the charities, I will do it in the car on the way. Currently at home with ds and our other dd so want to spend some time with them before I go, they’ve been a bit unsettled obviously (ds is young and just knows she’s a bit poorly so she’s being looked after in hospital and dd1 is older than the dd in hospital and does know what’s happening) so keen to just relax as much as I can around them while I’m here.
Thanks for checking in and for the advice 💐