HELP!! I think my 8yr old is depressed.

[LittlemissMama67]

Im in urgent need of some guidance. My 8 year old has said things like we'd better off without him, he's basically a bin bag, he hates himself. He's the worst kid, he's stupid. He has no friends. I feel as though he's crying out for my help and I don't know what to do. I love him dearly and have always been a loving and affectionate mum. He has a good home life.

This had been going on for a while but today he got home from school and burst out crying saying he hates the way he opens the front door??? Im so confused. Why does he feel this way? Is the gp my next mood.

for the past few weeks I've been going out of my way to show him how much he means to everyone. Leaving notes in his room to find with affirmations. Spending more quality time with him, big hugs and long chats cuddled up. Listening to his problems and making sure he knows he's heard but he still is so dreadfully happy. I feel like such a failure. Like despite my best efforts to show him he dosnt see what a lovely boy he is.

what would you do if you were in this situation. Im scared.

I think I would speak to the GP with hope they would refer to CAMHS for access to counselling.
However, our experience with CAMHS is waiting times years long and ineffective staff. Do you have access to counselling for family members through work? Or is private therapy an option? Have you spoken to school? Maybe they have some suggestions.

young minds is aimed at young people but I’m not sure how young. There is a parents advice line, they might be able to advise where to turn. I hope you are able to find some support.
www.youngminds.org.uk/about-us/contact-us/

Oh gosh op how sad and you must be desperately worried.

Could it be something at school?

I think you are right to be looking for guidance and support, from a professional.

Unfortunately pp is correct that coming by this on the nhs is very tricky at the moment- could you afford private?

Is he being bullied at school?
Have u asked teachers how he is?
Does he have access to mobile phone gaming? (if he does he is too young and this can have a damaging mental health effect.
Does he do anything in the home to feel a sense of achievement from? (Like cooking a meal or cake with you? a board game, put together DIY furniture, wash the car etc.
Does he enjoy his weekends out and about with you?
How is his diet? are you avoiding sweeteners, sugar, saturated fats?
Does he have a reasonable amount of sleep ? (bed time at 8pm for example).

Would you also consider speaking to teachers to see if they've noticed anything or see how he is at school?

Take him to the GP and get counselling referral done asap.

Well it seems linked to school so best talk to the pastoral team and see what they can come up with. Also his form teacher

He may be able to access counselling through school

oh how sad for you both. Must be awful to feel like that about yourself and awful to know your child is struggling.

I would speak to school and the Gp. I know I’m out local area there is a mental health service (run by Barnardo’s) who work with children with mental health needs. They work with children not meeting CAMHS threashold (or are supposed to but also work where CAMHS should but can’t because of resourcing issues). I wonder if there is similar in your local area? Maybe school can provide some additional support in school as well.

has this just started out of the blue? I wonder if there has been something to trigger it?

Could be lots of things, could be hormones -

Sometimes all That age group need is to feel a sense of self worth - If they do not feel small personal achievements they may feel un fulfilled (particularly at that age.
Try cooking together - get him to get all the ingredients out - mainly cook the meal with you supervising - and then he can look at that and say "I did that, I feel a sense of achievement"

Thankyou all, I've spoken to his teacher tonight on the school app and she's putting in a referral to the school mental health and anxiety team. He's out the front with his step dad at the moment learning to ride his new bike and I was going to start dinner but I think I'll wait till he's in and get him to help me. It's a hello fresh dinner so he might enjoy following the recipe card. I'm trying everything to make him happy and he's just not and it's so upsetting. He has a new baby sister who he adores but I wonder if that's a factor. And we had a house fire last year and lived with family for 5 months he's not had an easy run of it lately bless him. And yes he has issues with a certain boy at school. The boy hit him in the face with his book bag on Friday and the teacher said they'd sit down together today and the boy would have to apologise I wonder if he's been thinking about that over the weekend and the boy didn't go into school today. Sometimes when I've been thinking about something that didn't end up happening it's frustrating.