Daughter admitted.

[needingahandtohold]

I really need a hand hold, my 13 year old has just been admitted for her mental health.
She didn't come home from school last night after the school phoned me to say she hadn't been there since lunch, after the police and I looker for for 2 hours she was found near the docks and said she wanted to die.
We have had really challenging behaviour issues for a while, absconding from school, alcohol misuse and admissions to A and E due to substance misuse.
Last year she attempted an overdose but was caught by a teacher and thankfully it was a box of vitamins and no harm was done that time.
She got in with a really bad crowd and has been in trouble with the police a lot over the last 6 months.
We had the crisis social work team visit today and she admitted she had a detailed plan of how she was going to end her life.
I am truly heartbroken for her and petrified.
She has self harm wounds all over her arms and legs. We have found a cocktail of medications that she has been stashing in her room.
I really need some support, my family are great but are all on the over end of the country and my daughter has been placed 80 miles from our home.
I am so devastated.
I just have no words to describe the pain I am feeling that my child could be so unhappy that she feels this is her only option.
Has anyone else gone through this and come out the other side as I need to see some light at the end of this and prayer that she won't ever be successful at doing it.

she's safe tonight, positive thoughts she begins to get the help she needs.
i've not been through such rough times with my now young adults but i know it's a hard phase as parents and as a teen.
any insight as to why she is acting out? what treatment has been tried?

Didn’t want read and not answer. No experience of this. I can’t imagine how heartbroken you are right now.
i hope you have someone in RL who can come support you. Could a family member travel down to you or you go to them?

Hopefully your DD will get the right assessment, treatment and support she needs now. Maybe try to think of this as the first step for her getting support and intervention.
I truly hope it all works out for you both.
Big hugs.

So sorry you are having to face this. She is in a safe place.The teen years can be so hard. I haven't faced this but know people who have and their daughter is now a happy adult. Sending you and your daughter good thoughts for her to get better soon.

I couldn't not reply either. I'm so sorry for what you and dd are going through. I'm so glad that she's safe tonight. X

It seems to have started when her bio father started to contact her, he has been ad-hoc at best and at worst encouraging behaviour that is not acceptable towards me and now her siblings as some of them refuse contact with him (3/5 children don't/ won't speak to him). I have tried to just be supportive of her relationship with her dad and keep her 'safe' without bad mouthing him and pick up the pieces when he lets her down which he always does each time he makes promises to her. Then it spiralled when she got in with this group of girls, drinking and smoking, switching her phone off and going missing. About 5 months ago she was witness to a sexual attack on one of her friends by an older teenage boy and is due to be a witness in the court case. The attack resulted in a pregnancy and then her friend went awol after she had a termination which really upset her.
She had a secret insta account with her friendship group which had really inappropriate pictures of her and her friends ( in underwear) in a public account, so social media on her phone has all been removed from her phone but she logs in on friends phones and uses it anyway.
She is very aggressive and assaulted me when I was pregnant, I only gave birth 12 weeks ago and this is really stressing me out and I'm feeling totally broken.
My other kids are distraught by what she has been saying to them, she says the most vile and hurtful things when she is angry and isn't remorseful when she can see how she is hurting them.
I want to help her and take this away for her but I don't know how. The social worker says I'm doing all the right things to keep her as safe as I can and that she is making poor choices and is deeply unhappy. S/w and the police have said that she presents as having trauma but she won't talk about why/what to anyone. She won't engage with camhs despite many referrals by myself, s/w, the school and our GP.
She won't see the substance and alcohol misuse team but does attend a self esteem group run by s/w for children that are similar to my daughter.

oh wow lots for a 13 yr old to deal with and unravel.
and indeed none of it sounds easy on the family. who do you have in your corner supporting you and your partner?

My mum is a fantastic support and has been throughout, she is taking some time off work to come here and support us all so me and DH can visit dd on Monday.
Im wired as hell so won't be able to have a sleep at the moment but after I've wound down a bit I can hopefully doze off for a bit.

Feeling a bit better today after some sleep, the ward has called and assured me that she is fine atm and has had a sleep.