DD struggling with ADHD diagnosis

[Wishiwasmycat]

My year 10 DD was diagnosed with ADHD last month. It wasn’t a surprise to any of us, but the actual diagnosis seems to have brought her right down and I don’t know how to help her. She’s already very teenagery and I am worried that she won’t talk to me. The school called yesterday about her sharp decline in school this term. She’s currently refusing to go in ‘feels sick’. Today is day 3 of missing school.
She doesn’t want to try medication as she doesn’t want to feel different. I respect her choice but I feel like she’s slipping away from us and we are powerless to help.
the school is supportive mostly although a couple of her teachers are not.
has anyone been through this. I feel so lost and don’t know where to start to help her.

Hormones really mess with ADHD, it is another reason a lot of women are being diagnosed late, perimenopause acts the same with ADHD as puberty does.

I ended up on the pill early ish due to acne issues but it probably also helped with my undiagnosed ADHD issues. I am not a medical practitioner though. It is worth looking at what Dr Amanda Kirby has written and talks about around neurodiversity.

How much does she know about how ADHD works and effects her brain/body etc? Learning about mental health and brain chemical self-care is really helpful. Spoon Theory and that it is ok to need to have breaks. Pomodoro technique for managing tasks and schoolwork.

Finding her an ND teens group might also be a good thing as having similar peers really helps when others make things look easier and you can end up comparing yourself. Also a mental health therapist who understands ADHD/ND for instance.

I hope some of these ideas help, I will have a think about more when I have some more time.

Also, finding TikTok adhd influencers like Jessica McCabe who talk very openly and talk about their strengths as well as challenges around ADHD.

Have a look into spiky profiles if you haven't come across them, Amanda Kirby has a profiler on her website which will map out challenges and strengths and useful support techniques. Understanding more about all of that may help with her self-esteem and acceptance of herself.

Thank you so much for your advice. It all feels a bit overwhelming at the moment. I'll take a look into spiky profiles and as for TikTok, she's rarely ever off it. I just love her so much and want to help.