My 11 yr old son

[Madmoo11]

My son is nearly 12 and I've been struggiling with him. I wont tell anyone but I'm worried about him. He males friends at school, but then does not want to attend, first it was his stomach to thebpoint we were in a waiting list for 1 1/2 years to see a consultant. We've finally seen one and the consultant thinks he does not eat in the mornings so he gets acid ( he had acid reflux as a baby). He's had the runs so bad in junior school. We're now in senior school He's only done 3 or 4 weeks before he told me he was being bullied. It's got that bad his anxiety stops h from going. We've had different meetings to try a reduced time table. He freezes when we have to go. We're at the point now where we're transferring schools and I'm waiting to hear back from his original school.

He struggles sleeping and has done forever. I've tried everything. People think I'm not telling the truth, I've tried earlier bed time, later bad time, weighted blanket, doing relaxing breathing with him, turning all electrics off earlier, later some gummies to help him sleep. He has broken sleep quite often. I'm so worried. The safeguarding lady suggested he goes into SEND and is assessed. I did not feel that was the correct thing to do at the time. As he was that low because of the bullying, it could be misinterpreted for an issue that's not there.

I have a 17 year old He's been fine in school. He had girlfriend for a year and finished recently and I've found out he smokes the occasional weed. I don't like drugs and have never taken them. My dads mentally ill (schizophrenia) He's had it for 28 years I've cared for him done the sectionings, paperwork, sorted his house, paid his bills, get his food. And if swear that was brought on by him smoking some weed after my mum left him.

All in all I'm worried about my youngest mental health. I've been studying CBT therapy and would love to try and cbe a counsellor one day. I understand most things, but my judgement is clouded when it's my family and emotions can skew the views you have.

Has anyone else had any issues like this with thier children?

Thanks 🥰

I am so sorry to hear that - that sounds really hard. My first comment would be a lot of what you are describing sounds anxiety related. Not eating, upset stomach, stomach pain, acid reflux etc are all common symptoms of anxiety. It also massively affects sleep, and you can get into a viscous circle where not not sleeping make you more anxious, which impacts your eating and sleeping etc…Freezing is also classic anxiety behaviour. First step would be getting to the GP and trying to get to see some to help him. This is not something you can just fix on your own, and it is really important to reach out for help. I think getting an assessment is a good idea - at least then you and he can get some support! In the meantime there are lots of books and YouTube videos on kids and anxiety which you might find helpful… Good luck, and you have my sympathy! As a parent of an anxious kid with anxiety myself, I know how hard it can be!

It definitely sounds like anxiety. My youngest had similar issues, my eldest also sailed through school.
The problem we faced was lack of help and support. We were so naive in thinking the drs could help, they were absolutely useless, told my son to drink herbal teas. We made so many appointments only to be fobbed off, meanwhile the school were heavily on our backs, adding to the pressure.
it was one of the most distressing incidents in my life and sadly so many are in similar situation.
My advice would be try to go private, as this situation only gets worse after months of trying to access help to no avail.Also read up what you an on anxiety and panic attacks. There is a good book on Amazon called Dare.
There's lots of YouTube videos covering many school subjects and my son managed to pass his exams by watching these, alongside revision books. He is older now and no longer suffers anxiety, school was the problem, we tried absolutely everything and exhausted all avenues, to no avail.
I wish you both luck and hope things improve.
look at Not fine in School forum.

Thank you so much for your reply. I take meds for anxiety. Several factors in life made it worse. But that's not the issue 😊 thanks for letting me know you have anxious kids. My eldest just said I don't belive in depression. You can sort it. You can tell he's only 17. He then told me my youngest could do with less rubbish food. I agree. But he does not even eat that much. He does not like certain foods, he will eat plain pasta and rice, chicken. I'm hoping he will get past this stage. But my main concern is sleep and anxiety. We're processing the paperwork for a new school. I hoping this will help. Its so upsetting to see him like this. 😭 but nice to know others have the same issues.

Thank for the reply. It's just so sad that kids feel like this.And it breaks my heart to see I can't help. You try and it's just heart breaking. It then effects work and other things. I'm a single mum and care for my father too (where sole of the anxiety comes from) I'm trying to balance work, be there and do it all. It's madness. Some days your patients is worn thin, trying to stay happy and focused is hard. My.son has been up 24 hours. And he looked dead. He's not eatten much just a bit of food. He's finally gone to bed. I'm so worried bout it all. 😪

You mentioned diet.
I would be doing a overhaul on his diet and giving him whole foods and lots of vegetables, eggs, chicken and to a be lesser extent fruit.
Anxiety is very much related to diet in younger people and bad gut health.
Are you able to keep him home for a while and do learning at home?
Definitely not easy if you work but school can be so hard for some kids.

Sorry just read your previous post te all th

🤦‍♀️ read your previous post about caring for your dad.
Have you tried melatonin for his sleep?