Have you discussed the possibility of ASD with her @purplepandas? How does she feel about an assessment?

My DD has just been referred, after many years of me begging both the Dr and the school.

If she's willing and it's available, I'd go for it although she may not find any support afterwards.

We've had more support through a local charity that offer MH services to local DC.

Yes I’d seek assessment. Support afterwards we’ve found pretty much non existent but for your dd’s sense of self, I think a diagnosis would be really useful.

Why ASD and not just anxiety or problems socialising?

It's one of those where I wonder whether we will gain anything from knowing if a diagnosis is provided.

There is huge value in knowing who you are.

Ironically my diagnosis gave me my voice. So many situations I couldn't manage over the years which I now see and deal with differently.

Why ASD and not just anxiety or problems socialising?

Maybe because all of the problems her DD has could be a result of ASD and it's best to rule it out?

Potentially but the symptoms seem quite limited, I just wonder why it’s always ASD that is assumed first.

Op, you are right a diagnosis gives you no real change, but it does validate her feelings and will help her understand why she does or doesn’t do/like things. As opposed to just thinking she is rubbish, slow, lazy….. (add any negative voice here)

school is often a masking place and teenage hormones alongside increased pressure can make symptoms that were manageable b4 much harder, so it is possible this is happening.

I went for diagnosis for my child because I knew he would need help in school/wouldn’t manage mainstream secondary, I am so pleased I did as we have the right environment now.

my dw got her diagnosis at 58yrs, spent her life feeling different, depressed, anxious, without knowing she was autistic!

if dd is willing, go for it!

My dayghter - 15 - just had her assesment and diagnostic at the end of November.

I’ve never had any suspicions when she was younger. In Y5 she started to behave awkwardly and we thought it was hormones. In Y6 we thought it was pressure for changing to secondary school. In Y7 we thought it was the change itself. In Y8 we thought it was bullying so changed schools. In Y9 we thought it was the difference in schools and adaptation. In Y10 she was referred to CAMHS as things got pretty bad with social anxiety, school refusal, self harm, eating disorders, suicide ideation. In Y11 she had now a diagnosis and a special school to go to.

Problem is - apparently girls are masters of masking but when puberty hits and the social pressure grows it gets all too much.

Looking back, knowing what I know now - there were signs but they were not the flapping hands, genius brain and meltdowns over chicken nuggets.

If I were you I would research, study and collect anything you think is evidence. Make a diary. And always put her first instead of societal norms.

I did get her assessed years ago but they said fine.

Does that mean she went through the whole assessment and they said she doesn't meet the criteria for diagnosis, or they did the initial screening questionnaires and said her scores didn't warrant further assessment?

I would dig out her old assessment (if you have one) before requesting a referral so you can go in armed with exactly which points are different now - it's often helpful to look over the reports years later with the benefit of hindsight as I'm sure many of her behaviours and sensitivities will be much clearer to you now than they were years ago when she was originally assessed. Plus, there's more awareness now of how ASD presents differently in women and girls, so that might be helpful compared to last time too.

It’s rarely assumed first especially in teen girls actually. Many are assumed to be shy or suffering with anxiety or to ‘just’ be sensitive or fussy and it’s often assumed they’ll grow out of it or they’ll just cope. You’re extremely ill informed.

Anyway.....yes I would definitely try to get her assessed. She either has it or she doesn’t. The process is extremely thorough and I would say there is huge value in knowing for the child and the parents. School snd other educational settings and workplaces will be obliged to make reasonable adjustments to help her cope in the future. Of course it doesn’t stop the ignorance from some.

was it the full asd assessment she had? I know things can be missed but if it was the full assessment then it must make it less likely. Also not sure whether they will refer her again. When was the first one? I think your first stop should be the senco. Other ND such as adhd could present with the symptoms you list as well. And social anxiety more common and more severe post covid

Potentially but the symptoms seem quite limited, I just wonder why it’s always ASD that is assumed first

Maybe because it's massively under diagnosed in Women & Girls?

It doesn't matter if it's the first or last assumption either. If her DD doesn't have ASD after being assessed then that's ok too.

It's so hard to get an assessment anyway most other things have been ruled out way before you even get near one.

If it wasn’t a full assessment then makes more sense to get her referred now. I’d still speak to the senco first and ask their opinion

btw Her notes from the first one should be in her gp record so might be worth requesting them

My 13 year old is the same, we've had to abandon bowling before we'd even paid as the venue was so loud and normally she loves bowling but it was at a different venue with a loud arcade, and she won't go into a supermarket anymore often complains that I speak loudly (I don't). As a younger child she used to bite herself whenever she had any big negative emotions and occasionally does now still. She also says that when her friends have conversations and it's not what she thought they were going to say she gets thrown and not sure what to say to continue the conversation. Is a very high achiever but doesn't see the point in anything that isn't logical so creative writing and things like that she does but not with the same effort as computer science etc.
Is perfectly behaved, if there is a rule she'll follow it and if she breaks a rule she'll punish herself, used to put herself on timeout even though I've never used that as a parenting strategy.

I talked to her about autism and the potential for it, mentioned it to her school but they just said she's a high achiever, get stuck in and has friends so is fine plus the Senco has been on maternity pretty much the whole time she's been at High school. She did the online ASD test and came back as highly likely. I asked her if she wanted to go for an assessment as it's a 4 year wait where we are or I could pay to go private. For now she said its fine and that she'd prefer not to but that it helps knowing that it might be that.

Something else the noise sensitivity could be is hyperacusis which could be likely in our case as its just the two of us and we are quiet and over lock down she wasn't around any loud noises so perhaps became desensitised to it, I do wonder if that had an impact too or maybe it got worse because she hit puberty and started High school.

Either way for now she just wants to be herself, likes to know that that might explain how she feels and knows assessment is an option if she wants to go for it.