Signs of borderline pd in kids up to 10

[stongerbytheday]

Does anyone have any experience with having older kids that have now got the diagnosis of Borderline PD? Can you share your experience of what you now think may have been the signs when they were younger?

Friend has a daughter with a guy who has BPD and she is worried about her DD. She seems to not be able to stand losing, always has to win and can get violent and impulsive over tiniest of things.

Is there any hope or possibility of treatment early on or do you just have to see it play out till formal diagnosis? It's a nightmare to parent, apparently goes against anything parent says.

Borderline personality disorder isn’t, and shouldn’t be, diagnosed in young people whose brains are still developing. An under ten would be impossible to say, as all children are impulsive and think in concrete terms…

what you describe is more likely to be autism , and that is often misdiagnosed as BPD.

Look up PDA too and low demand approaches to parenting

Thank you so much regards recommendations for PDA and low demand approaches to parenting.

My friend seems to see a lot of similarities from the dad to the daughter and I think she's terrified it's history repeating itself. Hence I thought it might be an idea to get people's perspective on this, is her worry justified or not.

Your friend should really be researching and working on her parenting.

What a nasty thing to say, that a child is a nightmare to parent.

People develop BPD because of inconsistent parenting and parenting which does not make the child feel loved .your friend might want to know.

@Pineappleskies the truth is I don't think she has ever put it in those terms, but it's more like she says that it makes no difference to what she tells the child to do at all, her DD does whatever she may decide to do. And sometimes these things are dangerous, like climbing a treehouse without a fence.

I remember we both took our kids and I told mine not to go up and they listened, but her dd just went up anyhow. She said that's typical of the behaviour.

And I also witnessed a horrific tantrum with another kid, this was absolutely 5x times louder and more ferocious than any tantrum I had seen before. She asked me what to do in these situations. I said I don't know, I will just try and read up and ask anyone who has experience in this.

My assumption is that this behaviour would need to be dealt with in normal situations prior to tantrum, but I don't know if there is anything one can do to prevent the tantrum itself.

Sorry I was rude in my previous reply. My brother has BPD. It is awful.

As a child he was nothing like you describe though. He held his pain in, was quiet and obedient. He arrived to please, was extraordinarily unemotional.

I think your friend needs to try and forget about some future diagnosis especially as BPD isn't hereditary per se it is much, much more about child rearing. Is the child in contact with her father? If not, how and when did that contact end and what was that experience like for the child and has that trauma been worked through (if there was any).

This could surely be all sorts of things. Has she been to the GP? Has she asked her daughter why she climbed the tree? Is she a stable, loving, attentive, consistent parent? Was she when the child was youngish? is her belief that her child will develop one of the most terrible personality disorders imaginable passed on to the child in anyway? Does she have support to parent?

I appreciate you're trying to be a good friend, but she needs to start with the child, not a possible future diagnosis.

That does sound like autistic meltdown which is usually due to sensory overload (which can include emotional overload, demands, etc).