13 yo DD no friends, anxious

[paulmccartneysbagel]

I'm at a loss and feel so low about my 13 year old (year 8) DD.

Since the age of 5 she has had a tic on and off, when they are especially bad her forehead, eyes and eyebrows ache.

Since year 3 she has struggled with school and friendships. She has no confidence in herself, no resilience. She has a few girls she gets on with okay but no proper friends - it just seems that everyone gets on her nerves! In the past she has made friends but then it just falls apart - they get on her nerves, they say something that annoys her, and she ends up falling out with them. She does not seem to understand emotions or be able to show her own emotions.

At first I thought she was just in the wrong mix at primary school - once she started secondary she would find 'her group' and things would settle down. But here we are in year 8 and the problems continue.

She is highly anxious, needs to know exactly what is going on. If we deviate from routine she gets very worried. She can't handle busy trains, or busy areas. It's Like a sensory overload.

I don't know what to do. School, myself and DD have all filled out SDQs and given them to the GP - I'm wondering if she has ASD? I'm waiting for the GP to review them and call me.

I'm just so worried that she isn't happy. Isn't getting the most out of life. That she will end up depressed. I have tried to persuade her to join some clubs but she just refuses. She is happiest when she is in her pyjamas at home.

Anyone have any experience of this?

I have an identical ten year old dd who was diagnosed with ASD last year. Friendships are a nightmare she's either talking to a girl from school on her phone non stop or they aren't talking at all. She just wants to in her pj's on her iPad constantly and school mornings are horrendous. Refusal to get dressed etc. I worry myself silly that she will end up depressed and unhappy. Solidarity

It sounds very very much like ASD.

Can you afford to have her assessed privately? The wait around here is very long, 2-3 years even for children.

Thanks for the replies and the solidarity. It's reassuring to know I am not barking up the wrong tree in thinking it is ASD. I don't want to jump to conclusions and will keep an open mind.

Unfortunately we can't afford to go private. I don't mind the wait too much as long as school are supportive and we can get her assessed before GCSEs, I think.