School has suggested my son (5) may be autistic

[MalcolmTalcolm]

Hi, I'm new to the group, and have just been informed by my son's head that she thinks he may be autistic. Her reasoning for this is that...

1. He doesn't like PE
2. He seems miserable at school
3. He likes playing with one person a lot

We have not noticed anything at home, none of the usual characteristics of autism, and this has come completely out of the blue. Son is 5yo and has been at the school through nursery/reception and is now two months into year 1. We have been recommended to contact our GP regarding an assessment, which we are doing. The head teacher is Autistic herself and is standing in for the normal SENCo person who is on maternity leave. I am wondering if anyone else has had this sort of news just dropped on them out of the blue, and can maybe give us some advice?

Thank you

He has no routine issues. He has no sensory issues, he doesn't struggle to follow rules, noise is no issue.. He has no problems jumping all over the place at home (we do star jumps and other stuff together) NOTHING has ever made us worry about his development.

It’s worth bearing in mind that children with autism or other SEN may find the school environment harder to cope with than the home environment, and their behaviours may be different at school. Especially when compared with other, neurotypical children.

We’d unconsciously been adapting our home environment a lot around DC1’s needs even before his ASD assessment. Same with our communication with DC1.

This may or may not apply to your DS, but there’s no harm in having him assessed.

Again, read my posts, and you'll see we are. I knew joining this group was a mistake. It'll be all over the Daily Mirror tomorrow. Goodbye. Thank you everyone else for your help.

You have misunderstood school budgets (unless you are not in england - i only know about england). There is a 'notional' budget for sen but this is based on a funding formula and doesnt relate to the number of pupils with sen in the school. You can also apply for an ehcp if a child a higher level of needs but that doesnt mean you automatically get 5k. Its carefully costed out -eg a speech and language therapist and 4 hours costing x. Having a diagnosis of something would't make it automatic, it needs to be proven through a lengthy process that provision is needed for a child to access education.

I think all you can do is ask the head again why she has raised these particlur issues in relation to your child to understand what they are seeing.

Schools don’t get £5k for every child with SEN, that would be amazing if so! Are you perhaps getting confused with the notional budget?

I'm a school governor, and yes we do. We are also encouraged to get kids onto free school meals, because we get 2k per child for that to.

He shows absolutely none of the classic signs.
what do you think are the classic signs of autism?

Yes PP chikdren get extra funding but only if they qualify in the set criteria telating to household income/benefits.

I suggest you get your bursar to explain the funding of sen again. You have misunderstood.

You don't even know that it's called Pupil Premium. You're not a governor.

This is clearly a wind up. Why do these people have to start threads about autism? What are you actually getting from it? Can't you just post about bison or something that doesn't matter?

Some of us actually have real children with autism who face real struggles. You're a disgrace.

Yes, people answer in good faith because god knows there so little support out there.

I came on here for help, it's not a wind up, but some of the ridiculous replies have got me very wound up.

Reported that last disgusting comment aimed at Nonono.

Good, I reported the original post too. Did you? Stupid question, really.

The school sees so many children that they can usually tell when one has autism. The schools flagged up that my DD has autism, she's currently going through the diagnosis process.

If you get referred then school will fill out loads of forms /information and then you'll see what they see. It's ridiculous to think they want the hassle of this work for no reason. Clinicians don't diagnose based solely on schools reports so they can't get a diagnosis to 'help with funding' just from getting your child referred.

Fwiw SEN children really don't help school finances - they often need extra resources which come from the standard budget. It's labour intensive to get any additional funding from the LA and often involves a real battle

If you have a school that recognizes a difference and is willing to do the referral for you to have it investigated, then RUN with it, Op. I can assure you, in my experience it's definitely the opposite. And you'll find many bitter parents having their concerns brushed aside by the school for years and years simply because they don't want to have to accommodate their needs.

My son was not diagnosed with autism until his 3rd year of secondary school. Primary school spent years telling me all was "fine"

You have misunderstood school budgets. I've been in school governance for over 10 years. The notional SEN budget is calculated on a head count. Schools are expected to fund up to £6k per child with SEN from their own budget. Some schools will have less SEN needs than their notional budget for SEN. Some schools will require additional funding from the high needs block to cover the expenditure that the children with SEN require.

No school gets extra funding for kids with SEN alone. They only get extra funding if a child has an EHCP and it is assessed as costing more than the £6000 school contribution.

It is of no benefit to the school to identify your child with ASD. It could be life-changing for your child to have his needs identified, and met, though

The man came here for HELP!!! Are you all drunk? Nasty bunch of keyboard warriors.

I agree. No idea why this thread turned nasty.

@MalcolmTalcolm accept the help and referrals. Lots of parents have to fight for it.

The reasons do sound a bit odd, but I assume there was a little more to the conversation.

It's common for parents not to see autism in their own children. Sometimes it's because they are autistic themselves and so they see those behaviours as what all children do. Sometimes they do not really understand how diverse autism can be. Even Prof. Tony attwood didn't see it in his own son! www.theguardian.com/society/2017/sep/25/why-the-world-expert-on-aspergers-took-30-years-to-notice-condition-in-his-own-son

But yes, sometimes it is because they don't have autism!

I remember when my friend who is a teacher visited us so that our toddlers could play together. I was quite shocked when she said 'walking on tip toes is a sign of autism' referring to my daughter. I already had worries because of her hand flapping, but a health visitor said that she was good with eye contact so is unlikely to have autism. My daughter is now 8 years old and it's so clear to me now. She has many quirks of autism and scored quite highly on the ADOS 2. I am pleased that her school referred her, because hopefully she can get help and understanding as she grows up (if she's diagnosed).

I think the point I am trying to make, is that it's difficult to see it yourself sometimes, but if a teacher has noticed it and your son has been diagnosed then it can only be a good thing that he will get help as he grows up.

I’d ask for a referral but personally think it’s a MASSIVE overstep for a teacher to be suggesting the outcome of assessment. Drs are trained to break this sort of news to parents and despite what people think autism isn’t the most likely diagnosis for most children who behave differently to their peers.

It doesn't seem as if you've been given clear enough reasons as to why the head is recommending a referral

What does his class teacher think ?

Is this actually impacting on his functioning in school ...?

You're well within your rights to ask for more information. You have no concerns at home - you aren't forced to rush into an assessment of autism by any means - unless there is some clearer evidence of the schools concerns and how they are impacting on your son

Perhaps ask for a follow up meeting with class teacher