Hi everyone - I've name-changed for this as some details might be outing, but I'd really appreciate some advice on next steps with my DS, 13. He's always been a bit quirky, but he's struggling now in a way that I think means I do need to try and do something to help him, so any advice welcome if any of this sounds familiar...
He's always been a bit sensitive and highly strung but very much within the range of 'typical'. He is extremely intelligent and does well at school, has friends, plays lots of sport, eats well, and on the surface you wouldn't necessarily notice there is any cause for concern.
He's always liked things a certain way and is a bit of a control freak, and throughout his childhood, he had the odd phobia - e.g. he's never liked vomiting or people vomiting around him, but not in a really phobic way.
In the last two years, he's developed a few more of these behaviours. The best way I/he can describe it that he finds a lot of things intensely irritating to the point where they make him feel anxious. People chewing in a certain way, people sniffing, or coughing. It manifests itself most with his little brother who, because he is many years younger, does sniff, cough and be irritating in various ways quite a lot! 😂 I see DS1 constantly trying to control DS2's behaviour to ease his own anxiety. He knows he shouldn't do this, and I tell him not to, but it's like he literally can't stop himself. It's like an attempt to control his own environment to ease his anxiety.
Last night, he came downstairs crying after he went to bed, saying he is worried that more and more things seem to be making him more anxious, and he doesn't know why - he's worried about how much he snaps at his little brother, who he loves a lot and would like to be less irritated with. He understands the situation very well and deeply and that his behaviour isn't rational, but struggles to control it. I myself have suffered from anxiety in the past so I get it, I've spoken to him openly about it, and I'm happy to consider anything that might help him from meditation to books to therapy to behavioural suggestions. But I have no idea what this is really or what's driving it and whether it is closer to being anxiety, or OCD, or somewhere on the ASD spectrum.
If any of this sounds familiar to anyone or you can offer any advice on next steps, I'd really appreciate it. Many thanks in advance!