Dealing with death of a family member

[Bakingwithmyboys]

I'm not sure if this is the right place but I'll ask anyway.

We recently lost my MIL a little bit suddenly. We haven't yet had the funeral as it went to coroner but it will be happening the week after next, just over a month after her passing.

I have 2 DS, 7 and 4.

The 7yr old is really struggling at bedtime. I get it that it's when he switches off and can't think of anything else. It's certainly crept up on me a bit more this week as well as DH. We've had 2 nights in a row now where I've had to go and sit with him til he slept. We tried to encourage reading but he hasn't got the hand of lying down to read so sits up, then once he turns in it all floods back.

We've had a really busy week and are all very tired and tonight I just felt like I didn't want to deal with him. I didn't want to give him cuddles as was just bit a done being hugged.

Is there anything I can do to help with bedtimes or is it something we just have to ride out?

Stop talking about the details when he’s in ear shot
yes Nan is dead, we have the funeral to say goodbye. Did she suffer? If you don’t know tell your dc hopefully not if she did tell him perhaps a little
He doesn’t need to know the ins and outs of the coroner etc
just because your all hugged out doesn’t mean you can’t spare a few mins and be with him he’s probably think king you’re going to die.
he will remember how you were

He doesn't know all the details, of course not. I just put it in there as that bit is taking more of a toll on us as adults, especially DH, which I think is understandable. We don't talk about it within his earshot.

I did sit with him and rub his back, I just couldn't cope with the cuddles. This is very unusual for me and shows just how much I've been hugged recently.
I just wondered if anyone had any tips to get him to be able to go to sleep.

Have you contacted Winston's Wish, they helped me help out 2 year old fosterling when DH died recently.