Not sure how to handle partners daughter

[KSE184]

I’ve been with my partner for nearly 10 years. Her daughter is 16 and she’s always been a handful. Living with her has always been a challenge. Over the last 5 years we have been supporting her through mental health problems, self harm, suicidal ideation and running away from home. She was diagnosed with asd and adhd this year but hasn’t been given any medication. She is under camhs and is seen weekly. Over the last few months her behaviour has escalated. On top of this She has started behaving violently to her Mum, my partner has new bruises all the time, she is showing early signs of psychosis and paranoia and now my two teenage children don’t want anything to do with her anymore and don’t want to come to mine at weekends anymore. Now I’m torn on how to move forward?!

It's not a case of handling her, it's a case of supporting her. She has neurodevelopmental needs that aren't her fault. It sounds like she may also have some mental health needs. Are social care involved given her violence towards her mum? She needs consistency, care, empathy and needs to feel accepted. Sorry but your teenage children are acting selfishly, if they are doing it for their own safety fair enough but if they are doing it to put you in an awkward position that's not on.

Hiya, thanks, she has a whole team of support around her from social care services. It’s mainly my son. She has said and done things to him which has freaked him out a bit. She has consistency, care and empathy from a wide support network around her but seems to be doing her upmost to destroy those relationships with family and friends