ADHD

[Mummyto4beautys]

Hi, I possibly think my child's got ADHD. I will list a few things he does and says.

screams for no reason.
Screeches.
Don't like being told no.
Tells me what he's doing and going to get.
Repeats himself.
Hurts people.
I told him I was going to cut his hair he said if you hurt me I'm going to puch you in the face.
He doesn't listen.
Jumps on the sofa onto the coffee table and hurts himself but will do it again.
Doesn't like doing anything for himself.
Won't tidy his mess
Draws all over
Lies.
Breaks toys near enough after buying them.

Could he possibly have it?

My son has ADHD. The one thing that really stuck out for me when we had the diagnosis was the emphasis on ADHD is not an excuse for poor behaviour. They do have trouble controlling their emotions but you have to provide safe boundaries and work with them to control their outbursts (and recognise the triggers)

He could possibly have it. He also could have poor boundaries, lack of discipline and/or a whole host of other issues going on.

FWIW my child has never said he's going to punch me in the face - and his ADHD is off the scale. He has also never hurt other people and doesn't deliberately break anything. ADHD does present differently however. The best thing you can do is seek help. Irrespective, of whether he does or he doesn't, he sounds out of control and you both need help, guidance and support.

@CoastalWave how does ADHD present itself in your child?

Have you read much about PDA? a lot of this sounds like it may be more than than adhd. although it sounds like a strong enough case for a diagnosis for both.

sorry i meant to write "assessment" not diagnosis

Hi
I can relate. My 7yo does some of those things too. We're about to do a neurodevelopmental assessment of needs. Submitting it next week hopefully with the school. They said it could take 2-3years to get any answers.
We've had plenty of workers in and are pretty much out of options except to go down the road of tests/assessments etc.

Constantly on the go, constantly talking, very lively, has trouble sleeping. Has trouble taking turns, sharing. Don't think he's ever sat sit in his life. Literally can't sit down still for even a meal at the table. Forgetful, loses stuff a lot. Gets obsessive about things very quickly. Says his head hurts it's too busy in there. He finds it incredibly hard to focus on his school work and is an expert at trying to get out of doing any kind of sustained 'work'

All of the typical symptoms tbh. But like I said, ADHD isn't an excuse for poor behaviour. Yes, he finds it hard if he's got it in his head that he would like x y or z, but 'doesn't like being told no' isn't an option in this house. Parenting a child with ADHD is bloody hard. I just have to word things differently. You can't for eg just tell my son that his mate has decided not to come over today for his playdate. I have to brace him for the change in news.

I can honestly say he has 'normal' behaviour and is like any other child who has the odd spout of naughty / poor behaviour. He knows the word 'no' and wouldn't dream of drawing on things or breaking things. In fact, on the odd occasion he has broke something whilst in a meltdown, the fact he has done that has really upset him.

It's just bloody hard work parenting him. My DH doesn't cope too well as he also has ADHD. I'm incredibly patient but I have to be 'on him' 100% and it's honestly twice the work of my daughter to maintain boundaries and keep him on as much of an even keel as possible.

School have said he only gets distracted easily and rushes his work so makes mistakes.

Out of all of these "symptoms", the only one that might signal adhd to me would be jumping on coffee table, hurting himself then doing it again. But that could also just be crazy toddler behaviour.
How old is he?
None of the rest of it sounds like adhd and if you think it does then I suggest you do some research into what adhd is and how it presents.

He's 7
he also talks none stop

I didn't mean my last post to come across as rude btw. It sounds very difficult to deal with and I think you definitely need some external input but I'm not sure if any of those things are typical of adhd.
Can you share your concerns with school or childcare setting and see what they say?

How is he in school as it MUST present in two settings for you to get a diagnosis

My 7 year old has a diagnosis and I have known since he was 4 but the school didn't support me till he was in Primary 3

Home setting

Can't wait his turn
Snatches / shouts if he wants something
Sleep issues since birth - literally never slept
Cannot sit at dinner table , has to stand and move about while eating
Watching Tv / trying to concentrate - will bite nails/pick at fingers / chew clothes.
Very energetic
Get upset easily crying or angry
Interrupts all the time
Has outbursts then feels ashamed
Says he can't help the way he behaves and constantly says sorry and feels shame
Puts himself down because of it.
Cannot follow instructions that require vary things - go upstairs , get dressed, wash face , do teeth - that's too much , has to be 1 thing at a time. With prompts

School

Cannot do more than 10/20 minutes of work within needing a break
Needs constant motivation to work, lots of 1-1 teaching to keep him focused
Low moods and lacks interest unless it's something he enjoys
Fidgets constantly at the table
Struggles to makes friends with his peers only has 2 close friends
Teacher can only give instructions 1 bit at a time and has to keep checking in with him to see he managing

Lies - yes my son has starting telling silly lies lots also

My the way I have ADHD too and I also used to lie a lot or change the truth to suit myself.

If you or his dad have it then there is a good chance yes he does.

It presents differently in many kids and often there is a reason for kids bad behaviour. Personally if you suspect it, I would agree you are most likely correct. The fact you are aware of the bad behaviour to me shows you do care and most like have tried to set boundaries.

My behaviour as a child was horrendous and I now know it was due to adhd. Not that I was a naughty kid as I was labelled . I had zero self esteem as a teen from constantly being told I was badly behaved.

So tread carefully with any discipline. It's easy for people on here to say it's just you kid being rude, and bad but in reality there will be a reason for it. Don't destroy his confidence but constantly reprimanding him for something he potentially is struggling to understand himself.

Adhd brings a lot of shame inside to kids. Kids generally want to please and adhd kids especially thrive on positive praise.