Trichotillomania please help dd12

[pastypirate]

Dd1 is pulling her scalp hair out. Going by the re growth it started about 4 months ago. There are thin patches on her scalp around the crown. It's at the stage where it will become noticeable outside the family soon.
I'm a trich sufferer myself though its v under control compared to when I was younger and I don't think dd1 has been affected by it especially.

I've talked to dd1 very gently about it and I do her hair in a French plait every day as she thinks this helps. It calmed right down and she was consciously trying not to do it but now it seems raging again and she's pulling from her hair line. One day there was suddenly a patch missing. She has lots of baby hair so it's not noticeable but I can see it.

Her dad has just bought her some beanies to wear at home as she thinks this might help.

Really I'm terrified of this escalating. I know camhs won't consider working with her unless it's much much worse.

Dd1 is the least anxious person in the family. She's very calm and just had parents evening at her new school and it was glowing! Teachers commented she's doing fine socially. I check her phone I can't see any evidence of bullying. She comes home every day happy.....then sits around ripping her hair out.

Please help

Does she know that there are bald patches coming? Can she see them herself? My son started doing this and developed quite a big bald patch at the back of his head . As soon as I took a photo of it and showed it to him, he really tried to stop. He now pulls his fingers through his hair in a ritualistic manner but doesn't pull it out. May be seeing if she can develop a habit that is less forceful on the hair but still provides the stimulation, that would be a solution. She will need an alternative form. If you are wired to require a repetitive stimulation, is a big ask to not have anything. Hope that helps.

Thank you for the reply I'm so worried. I have taken a pic and showed her. It did shock her but the effect wore off. She's become quite honest with me about pulling.

I braid her hair tightly and it covers the balding patch. Her dad can't do it and apparently dd1 got quite upset ordering him to do her hair for her so it's covered so it must be bothering her

Has she said why she does it and how it makes her feel? Does she even know she is doing it? Is she ingesting the hair after or doing anything else with it? Is she engaging in other similar behaviours such as skin picking?

That's interesting you say you are a trich sufferer yourself, as you are probably aware it can escalate quite quickly so I would seek professional help, via school pastoral or GP in first instance. If they can try and understand it better, they can make a decision on whether she needs to be seen by CAMHS.

She's not eating it no.
Dd broke down last night which is v rare for her and said she feels like it's not her mind anymore when it's happening. She had a bad day with it yesterday with a few hours alone - which I didn't want and was worried it would escalate. She's agreed that being left alone can't happen for a while now.
I keep thinking about calling school. I'm calling school on Monday I can't wait any more. Dad can call the gp he's not at work.

sending positive thoughts. I don’t pull my hair but I’m very compelled to pick my scalp if I have any dry skin, so have an extension haircare routine to prevent it. I also pick my skin on my nails and chew my nails.

press on nails help with both.

I’ve accepted I’m never not going to do it, so for me it’s about finding ways to make it so I can’t.

Cambs would accept the referral as it is now at the point where it is impacting on her and they look at the longevity too. Put in a referral.

I'm also a sufferer, I carry blu tack with me everywhere so I can play/fiddle with it, if I get the urge. I also wear a thin thick cotton bracelet that I can twist right around my skin to get the same pain release- doesn't always work though.

Sadly it’s seems to have gotten worse since pandemic

my DD started in first lockdown, pulled out so much of her lovely long hair, cried a lot and tried to control a lot.

paid For some private NLP sessions, tried various things like fidget spinners, new hobbies, she took daily photos and cried even more - horrible time!

She’s much better now, two years in but it has definitely been a challenge for her and us. One thing that helped was taking her to a very sympathetic hairdresser, who I spoke to on the phone beforehand and luckily I had a staff member there who was quite familiar with trich.
She showed my DD some hairstyles that she could do to hide the patches and also just talk to her and really encouraged her to look after her gorgeous hair better.

Hang in there and just try different things. It’s great that she’s opened up to you so just keep talking to her and letting her know that you are there for her. Sending you both lots of love

I saw this on Supernanny but she gave a child a sponge to hold in one hand and a big make up brush (similar to a shaving brush but very soft) for the child to play with and rub on her face.

I've not had personal experience but I do get psoriasis on my scalp and I tend to pick that.

I suffer from this but not as seriously as your dd. It started after my mum died when I was 13. I do the classic thing of feeling through all my hair to find the thickest or wirey hair that I can and pluck it out. I definitely get stress relief from it.. a hairdresser asked me as a teen if I was pulling my hair as I was developing a bald patch on top of my head and that cured me overnight!! I have been doing it again ever since my teens both had a cancer scare. I think its associated with OCD. It gives an emotional release and relief (like cutting I guess but obviously not as serious). Can you talk to her and find an alternative way she can relieve stress? What stresses has she been experiencing recently? Have you discussed this with her?

I suffer from this as well. I've found that acupuncture (reduces stress) and adding a couple of drops of tea tree oil to my hair conditioner (reduces scalp itching) helps. I do it unconsciously so being upset about the effects or using replacement activities like fidget spinners are of no use at all.

I called her form tutor. She's been checking on dd1 privately a couple of times a week. Dd1 said she was worried about her homework most of all! I didn't think she was. We are having odd pulling days but it's better than it was