Learning about autism

[Allineediscookies22]

my five year old son has not long been diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum. I already know I will probably word this whole question wrong but I have no one else to turn to for advice. He is generally such a happy and fun little fella but at times, usually when he is told no, or if it’s time to come indoors from the garden etc he will become extremely upset. There will be screaming, shouting and he will hit, bite etc until he calms down. This can go on for twenty minutes at times. Being around me while he’s like this seems to make him angrier but if I ask
him to go to his room or to go in a different room he will refuse. He will follow me
if I try to go to a different room to let him calm
down. As soon as he calms down it’s like a switch has been flicked and he is so calm and just wants a cuddle. He is my first child so I don’t know if this is because he’s 5 and maybe overtired or just having a hard day or if this is because of his diagnosis. He’s not so bad with his dad but He’s more a yes person whenever he wants anything so there’s less cause for him to get upset. I just want to know how I can help
him when he’s so upset, or how I can calm him down when I can see it coming which I usually can. Thanks in advance

you will learn his triggers and know when he needs time out b4 a meltdown.
don’t spring anything on him - tell him in 10/5 min we are off inside then 2 mins and we are going inside. Reason with him. Timers on phones lots of warnings.
when a meltdown is happening- don’t talk - nothing. He is like he’s on fire - you talk the more angry they get. Sit down read a book - ignore him. You try to “help” them - you are poking the fire. Well that’s what I do with my boy or you can give him your mobile with games on (in public) to avoid a total meltdown ….
negotiations work better rather than you are coming in now as he’s having so much fun! Even if they say ok I’ve had my time but I’ll come in one minute as I understand it’s soooo much fun ! Sometimes trying to be a friends rather than a boss works better plus distraction- wow there is a bee in my house quick let’s find it inside.
good luck it’s hard x

Make sure you give plenty of warnings before he goes outside of what will happen and how long playtime is and tell him if he comes in without a meltdown he can have a reward such as stickers, sweet, or whatever he likes. Or you could say if he comes in you will read a book with him or again, whatever he likes to do. Give him a last warning a minute before and remind him of his reward, if he comes in without a meltdown use lots of praise such as well done, clever boy etc. Ake it fun to come inside. If he does have a meltdown just remind him he does not get a reward for screaming and as long as he can't hurt himself during a meltdown just walk away and tell him mummy is there when he has calmed down and once calmed down again use praise. Children love praise and rewards and he will get it eventually. As the above poster said you will learn his triggers and how to calm him down. It's about trying to avoid the trigger before it starts rather than a child crying and then trying to calm them down as they are already upset and distressed and probably won't want to listen at that point.