15 year old was brought home by police at 1am!

[Bigkingdom]

They had a report of someone on top of a carpark roof in the town centre. They managed to get her down and bring her home.

She was in bed asleep when i went to bed, but snuck out about 11pm.

She has had ongoing mental health issues, we are in weekly contact with the GP and i’ll be contacting them again.

The police said they have to make a merlin report to social services. What will social services do? Will i have my kids taken away?!

What can i do to help my daughter?

I am so sorry, you must be beside yourself.
SS will be supportive IME and want to help.
Can you afford private treatment for her? A psychiatrist? Or self refer to CAMHs.
Have her sleep you, lock away meds, belts, razors and so on. Take her keys.
I'd let school know and keep her home for a while. Don't be afraid talk to her openly.

It's awful, I do know unfortunately.

Sorry to hear about what happened. I don't have much advice on how to help but as previous post said, please let the school know, their pastoral team may have some suggestions or can signpost where you can get further support. In terms of social services, they will not look to take your child away, they will want to support her and help you support her too. Please try not to worry about intervention from social care, work with them and they will try and help. Wishing you all the best

I am really beside myself. I can’t even lock my front door with a key inside, its just a turning latch so she can unlock the door and get out whenever she wants. I wonder if theres an alarm system to alert me in the night if she attempts to leave?

I can’t afford private treatment unfortunately. But i will push for the GP to refer to camhs as we can’t self refer in my area. I’ve hidden all medication and razors. We don’t use belts but anything rope like (dressing gown cords) will be taken as soon as she wakes up.

I have emailed her head of year during the night as she has been our support from the school. I just feel lost. I feel like a rubbish parent, like i’ve done something wrong. I know some of her issues are down to the DV she witnessed from her father, which is my fault as i didn’t get out fast enough.

Oh your poor dd and how upsetting for you both, I have been there op, things did get better but it has been a hard road.

My dd ended up in a&e after am overdose. We didn't have ss involvement but camhs were supportive, despite dd being very stand offish.

I hope she gets the help she needs.

It's not your fault, truly it isn't. Can you have an extra key lock added to your door?

SS will ask you permission to be able to speak to people involved in your daughter's care, the doctor, school etc. It may speed up a CAMHs referral.

I'm so sorry, what a terrifying situation

I think you really need to push for MH services involvement here, get on to the GP first thing. I work in adult services (not acute MH either anymore) so unsure of CAHMS process. However if what you described had happened with an adult I would have expected the police to bring them to the ward on a section 136 for an assessment at the very least. I would then expect, given the circumstances you described they would at least get support from the Crisis team.

I think when you speak to the GP/ services you need to highlight how difficult it is for you to keep your dd safe in these circumstances (e.g. she is being very secretive and sneaked out when you were asleep and there isn't a door you can lock) as these factors certainly contribute to the risk at present.

I can't imagine how terrible this is for the both of you. I think pushing hard for all support possible is essential, and as previously mentioned social services will want to support you both in this too.

Hugs is all I have other then yes there is door alarms. The door has to be closed and then the link is broken ( door opened ) it triggers.

Ss should be kind and supportive not forceful especially if she snuck out after bed time

If you ring Mind they should be able to tell you if there are any services for young people in your area. Treat SS like you would a GP be honest and ask for help. Is your ex completely off the scene?

If social services do get involved, that is likely to be a helpful thing for you, as they will be an ally in your attempts to get mental healthcare for your daughter. They will be there to offer support to a vulnerable person, not to consider anything about your parenting.

When my son was very ill and it was proving hard to get him to see a mental halthcare practitioner, I contacted social services myself, and they were helpful. In fact, they had already been notified by the mental healthcare system because the concerns about me son were significant.

Just wanted to send you a virtual hug and say that last year my 15yr old Dd wanted to end her life. I obviously don’t know what your relationship is like with your Dd but I found that my Dd really opened up to me when I didn’t drill her about why she felt like this.

If you can today, take your daughter out of school and just take her off to do something (like a zoo, wildlife park) where you can walk alongside each other and talk, try not to grill her (I know it’s hard not to want to shake them and scream how much you love them and that they have their whole life ahead of them!) At her darkest times often after school I would take her out for a cheap meal at Weatherspoons, pack a small silly game (pass the pigs is excellent) to help get her out of that head space, and there were times when she would need to cry so I would allow her that time just to have a big emotional outburst and hold her.

It is friggin tough but once she got medication it did start to pick up and it does get better, unfortunately the process is much slower than it should be but if social services get involved I am sure that will help get the process moving quicker (they won’t take your kids away).

Also you are absolutely not a rubbish parent, I’m quite sure you are a remarkable person for walking away from the DV, but it’s completely understandable to feel like this. Please remember depression is an illness, and with any illness it can take time, self care and often medication to help heal that illness and there can be set backs along the way it doesn’t happen overnight, depression is no different in that respect and it’s certainly no one’s fault xx

Was she suicidal and intending to jump? If so, why wasn't she taken straight to A&E? That way she would access a crisis assessment with CAMHS the next working day and then a follow up usually 7 days later.

@Littleguggi apparently the police gave her the option and she chose to come home. The police said to me we would have been waiting up to 12hrs for CAMHS.

However at 8am i called our GP and they advised a&e so i took her there myself. We waited 5 hours to be seen and are having a follow up tomorrow

@Bigkingdom okay that's reassuring that she was seen at least. Should anything like that happen again God forbid I would be going straight to a&e whether it is a 5 hour wait or 15 hour wait as it's a place of safety and will ensure follow up. Hope she gets the help she needs!

Just popping on to re-iterate it isn't your fault. It's not black and white to leave DV situations. There's a combination of your own trauma, practicalities, hope, worry about going from frying pan to the fire. It's hard to think straight.

She'll be ok and you will get through this horrible time. Lots of love. Xx