Blood phobia & periods

[Tillyboosmum]

Hi. Can anyone help? My daughter suffers from hemophobia and has recently started her periods. Just the thought if blood makes her feel sick - seeing it makes her throw up or faint!! We have an appointment with camhs but not for 5 months. Doctor says nothing they can do. Anyone else been in this situation?

A friend was completely cured of the same phobia through a combination of CBT and learning self-hypnosis. Is self-funding an option for you?

Unfortunately not.

Can they use a contraceptive and stop her periods? If it causes her so much distress then there seems no reason to inflict it on her when we have the ability to stop them.

They say not. It's too aggressive with her only being just 12 - that was my initial thought. There's no medication they can give her either for the periods or the anxiety 😢

Oh the poor thing, that must be so hard!

Warning....post is about emetophobia and techniques to confront the fear

I have no experience of blood phobia but I am an emetophobe (fear of sick) so it's kinda related. Like a bit. Sort of.

I've had CBT and they focused on challenging the phobia in a safe environment. So looking at pictures or videos of cartoon characters being sick, watching Casualty episodes of people being fake sick etc

So as an example, there's a series of links to media I'd find quite triggering and I'd work through slowly from the safer ones to the more scary ones: emetophobiahelp.org/erp-resources-2/

They also suggested that we could make some fake, you know what, to look at or we could pretend to be sick together ie making retching noises (what a weird day that would be!).

All this is a very long way of me getting to the point.

Would your daughter be able to look at pictures of blood etc, working up to pretend used sanitary towels? I think the idea is to very gently challenge the fear, to let her see the least triggering things and let her sit with the feelings and to eventually feel calm before moving up the ladder.

It's a fight or flight response so it's impossible to reason your way out of it, you need to calm the body before the brain can think

The only reason I'm suggesting this is that she's a bit trapped isn't she? No CAMHS and no way to avoid bleeding every month (or so, it's been a while but they're v irregular at the beginning aren't they?).

It must be awful for her to anticipate whether her period is about to start and will she be able to cope if she's away from you :(

My son has the same fear as me and also had CBT and they gave him breathing exercises to do all the time, not just when scared and suggested he behave like a Pokemon trainer (he was a massive fan). The trainer was supposed to control the fear with his special tools of calm breaths, challenging the irrational thoughts etc

Thank you. Definitely some things worth trying. She's ok with other people's blood (so long as it's not too much) it's just her own. From tiny paper cuts upwards!!!

@Tillyboosmum

They say not. It's too aggressive with her only being just 12 - that was my initial thought. There's no medication they can give her either for the periods or the anxiety 😢

Also, all forms of hormonal contraception that can potentially stop periods (mini pill, Mirena, implant or back-to-back cycling of combined pill) can also cause irregular/breakthrough bleeding, especially when you first start them, and that might be worse because of the unpredictability.

Would period pants help? You don't see the blood as much as you do on a towel or tampon.

Ahh, that makes sense really. I'm not scared of other people being sick unless it means I may catch what they've got!

I found an article you may find helpful about how to approach phobias in children: www.heysigmund.com/phobias-and-fears-in-children/

Also, I know the website is about emetophobia but they do have relaxation for children here: emetophobiahelp.org/relaxation-for-kids/

Here's an NHS worksheet for children on phobias: www.nhsborders.scot.nhs.uk/media/372226/Phobia.pdf

The period pants sound like such a good idea. Black pants would hide the very visceral red she sees and hopefully be less triggering.

Does she mind her veins and feeling her pulse?

Could you get finger pricks that you could use to show her that it's no big deal and observe the process together? ie "oh, it's very red isn't it? It's getting darker and a bit thinker now, what happens when I squeeze my finger? Maybe some curiosity may help her see that it's nothing to fear in itself which may help her eventually try?

Thank you so much for your help 😊

Black period pants. No sanitary pads needed and you really can't see the blood at all. She'll need at least 3 pairs and probably you to wash them but honestly they could be a game changer for her.

Oh no problem! I know how awful phobias can be and I feel so guilty that I may have inadvertently caused my son's.

The psychologist said that I may have comforted him a bit too much when he'd been sick and made him think it was something to be fearful of.

"Oh, poor you, you're so brave! Well done, that was awful wasn't it? At least it's over now"

I mean, when I play it back it makes total sense!

D'Oh!

I am currently helping my daughter (11) with severe emetophobia and would echo what the PP said about exposure therapy being the best long term solution.

The trouble with approaches like black period pants or suppressing her periods is that you are inadvertently reinforcing the idea that (her) blood is 100 per cent awful and must be avoided at all costs. It might help her cope in the short term, but in the long term it will actually strengthen her phobia.

I have zero support from CAHMS (they would be useless anyway, it is way too specialist) so am coaching her myself following a programme from the US. We've been working intensively for three weeks and the progress is remarkable in terms of what she can tolerate (we still have a mountain to climb, but there is no doubt in my mind that exposure is the only long term answer). The programme is set out in a book called The Emetophobia Manual - obviously it is focused on fear for vomit, but all the mindset stuff and the approach to graded exposure would absolutely be relevant to other phobias.

Good luck.

@murderbythebook

Oh no problem! I know how awful phobias can be and I feel so guilty that I may have inadvertently caused my son's.

The psychologist said that I may have comforted him a bit too much when he'd been sick and made him think it was something to be fearful of.

"Oh, poor you, you're so brave! Well done, that was awful wasn't it? At least it's over now"

I mean, when I play it back it makes total sense!

D'Oh!

Ah, you can't win as a mum! I bet it was lovely for your DS that you were so kind when he was ill.

I think she should definitely be able to access cbt for this. Poor kid.