5 year old DD wets bed after going to her dad's house

[RosiePosiesmama]

So my 5 yo DD has been dry through the night since she was about 2½, we have had the odd accident when she is ill but no other issues. Recently she has started coming home from her dad's and wetting the bed through the night (only the night she comes home and then goes back to being dry) I took her to the doctor about it and my doctor told me it was probably the stress of being away from me so I tried sending her just for a couple of hours in the day but she still came home and wet the bed again that night. I spoke to DD's dad about it and he said she wets most nights at his because she is "too tired to wake up". She has a very busy life at home and no matter how long the day is she always manages to get up and go to the toilet so now I'm extremely stressed about what could be the cause of this and I'm at a loss on what to do, we also have trouble getting her to her dad's on a weekend as she will have major meltdowns begging me not to send her 😫 He is supposed to have her 2 weekends a month by court order so she has to go but I just don't know where to go from here 😔
Any advice would be very much appreciated!

Op please take you dd to child psychologist. My dd didn't want to stay at her dads overnight and we found out the reasons a few years after. He was abusing her and I hate myself for not seeing the signs everyday. It has affected her adoloscence and adult life everyday. I really hope that I'm wrong. But please don't take any chances.

As others have said, I'd have some concerns from a safeguarding perspective. I worked as Designated Safeguarding Lead in a primary school and would agree that the situation raises some red flags for me, but would hate to jump to any conclusions. As the doctor said, she could just be really upset about being away from you (I was VERY clingy with my mum as a young child) but I think the fact you're asking here suggests you think there's more to it.

My next steps if I were in your shoes would be:

• Talk to your daughter. During playtime would be the best time. You could even use toys to 'role play', say, pretend one teddy/toy is her, and one is her dad, and say "ah, this teddy is going to daddy's house now, I wonder if teddy is happy about that?" Children often open up more during role playing games, and when they can put their feelings onto an object, as opposed to directly saying "I feel like this".
• Talk to your daughters school, preferably someone in a safeguarding and/or pastoral role. They should be able to guide you towards support, and may even provide an in-school intervention.

Sending hugs OP, I hope the situation gets resolved and everyone is okay ❤️