Please help I'm at breaking point with my child

[Dustydolly]

Hi can anyone please help as I'm at breaking point here.

I have a 6 year old that I can't get to leave the home, he's not currently attending school because of this. He refuses to get dressed, won't wear any pjs either he wants to he naked all the time. I've cut all labels out, he has seamless socks, soft joggers and round neck tops as thats all he will tolerate. He last wore clothes on Thursday when after a 3 hour battle he went into school for 20 minutes. He gets violent, throws things, will absolutely not negotiate, we've tried visuals, sticker charts, he needs to be in absolute control at all times. He won't even go to a playpark or something a child his age would like.

I also have another child that attends a SEN school in a different town that is missing some days at school when I can't find alternative transport for her.

I just don't know what to do anymore, I have the education welfare officer on my case, she says I'm pandering to him and not trying hard enough, she's threatening legal action. We've also go a social worker that is now getting more concerned about his school attendance and behaviour.

We live in a flat so I have to get him down 5 flights of concrete stairs before getting to a carpark which is by a busy road, we've both received injures when I've tried carrying him and he's lashing out. I can't work, can't just pop to the shop, basically can't do anything because he refuses to get dressed and go out. I'm at my wits end. Thanks

Apologies in advance for all the questions, but they will help posters give you more targeted advice.

Have you spoken to the GP and gotten referrals to CAMHS and if it's not CAMHS who undertake autism assessments in your area them as well? Has DS seen an OT?

Via your social worker have you had a carer's assessment and assessments from the disabled children's team (if the social worker isn't from there) for both DC?

Does DS have an EHCP? Separately to this, if DS can not attend school the LA have a statutory duty to provide education for him. Try not to worry (easier said than done I know) about the threats of fines, it is highly unlikely anyone is going to prosecute you given DS's level of difficulties.

Follow up verbal conversation you have with the school, LA, Children's services etc. with emails so you have a paper trail.

For DC already in SS ask the LA for transport.

If you don't already claim DLA for both DC and carer's allowance for you you should apply.

Do you own or rent your home?

Have a look at pans/pandas. Very much sounds like it.

What does the school SENCO say? Have you started the ehcp process yet?

Are you a member of the Facebook groups “not fine in school” and “define fine”. I would suggest joining lots of ppl in similar circumstances.

I’d also recommend Yvonne newbold website and Fb page for help with the violent behaviour, her strategies are more about reducing demand

yvonnenewbold.com/