Help with ocd

[AlexaShutUp]

A friend's teenager has been diagnosed with ocd. My friend is trying very hard to be supportive but she is really struggling to know what to do, how to help etc. I can really see the toll that this is taking on her own mental health and I want to support both her and her ds if I can, but I know nothing about ocd and don't know what to suggest.

The child has seen a GP and is getting counselling, but several months in, there doesn't seem to have been any improvement. Is there anything else that might help? I wondered about cbt or something? They have money and can pay for private treatment if needed.

Anyone?

Medication can help, usually an ssri. The idea is that it can take the edge off the fear and allow the person to access cbt. There's a book called Parenting OCD by Clare Sanders that your friend may find useful, it describes the approach to treatment used in the UK.

Thank you @LizzieAnt.

I think he is on some kind of medication but I don't know exactly what, or whether that's for the ocd or for depression.

I will have a look for the book.

Hi Alexa, my oldest son has OCD. What helped was CBT with ERP (Exposure Response Prevention). That's a specialist kind of CBT that includes exposure to fears. So, my son had to touch things he found repellent (loo seats, for instance) without washing his hands. He was lucky enough to see a therapist who had been trained by the Maudsley, which is a centre of excellence for treatment of OCD and other anxiety disorders.

He also went on medication to lower his anxiety.

Medication and CBT with ERP is the recommended treatment for OCD, but isn't always easy to come by. Easier if you can pay, but at present even private therapists have long waiting lists. I know because my son has relapsed and I'm trying to get support for him again. The treatment worked for years and the therapist said he would need 'top ups', but, of course, Camhs didn't offer those.

OCD-UK and OCD-Action are both helpful and have lots of info.

So lovely that you are concerned about your friend and her child, btw. OCD is such a difficult thing for the whole family. One of the issues is that family often end up getting embroiled in the OCD behaviour to help their loved one, which actually reinforces the OCD. But it's hard not to.

What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck by Dawn Huebner is a really helpful book to support younger children (aged 6 to 12). I used it with DS whilst we were waiting for his therapy to start.

Also, it takes a long time to see an improvement, even with therapy, so your friend needs to expect that and not get discouraged. My DS had 18 sessions of CBT-ERP with CAMHS.

Thank you @Toffeewhirl, that's very helpful. I will pass this info on, and I'll have a look at the two websites that you mentioned.

I'm sorry to hear that your ds has relapsed recently. I hope that you're able to get him the support that he needs.

One other question...is there anything that you'd have liked your friends to do (or not do) to support you in dealing with your DS's ocd and anxiety? My friend hasn't told many people about this at all, so I want to make sure that I'm doing what I can to help.

My dd has emetophobia which is a form of ocd She is seeing a clinical phycologist and is doing cbt and emdr She is making progress.

I'd recommend finding a good therapist that specialises is ocd treatments.

I wouldn't even bother going through the nhs if you can afford the sessions as it's pot luck who you get and the waiting lists are huge.

For myself as a parent I love listening to the podcast- the anxious truth It's an American guy who has combatted ocd and anxiety. He is easy to listen to and helps me understand my dd more. Why she feels the way she does etc. He isn't annoying and interviews a variety of other sufferers and doctors etc.

@Toffeewhirl

Also, it takes a long time to see an improvement, even with therapy, so your friend needs to expect that and not get discouraged. My DS had 18 sessions of CBT-ERP with CAMHS.

Thank you, x posted with two of your posts but I think this is really important. I have been trying to manage her expectations about how long it might take.

She comes from a family which doesn't talk about mental health issues at all, so this is very difficult for her as it's such unfamiliar territory.

Thank you @whenwillthemadnessend, that podcast sounds like it would be ideal for my friend.

@AlexaShutUp

Thank you *@Toffeewhirl*, that's very helpful. I will pass this info on, and I'll have a look at the two websites that you mentioned.

I'm sorry to hear that your ds has relapsed recently. I hope that you're able to get him the support that he needs.

One other question...is there anything that you'd have liked your friends to do (or not do) to support you in dealing with your DS's ocd and anxiety? My friend hasn't told many people about this at all, so I want to make sure that I'm doing what I can to help.

Thanks for your kind words.

The best thing my friends did was listen when I needed to unload. I bet you already do that - you sound like a lovely, caring friend.

I hope things improve for your friend and her son soon.

I think he is on some kind of medication but I don't know exactly what, or whether that's for the ocd or for depression.
SSRIs are antidepressants but effective for ocd too. They usually need to be used at higher doses for ocd though. It can take a while to build up the required dose and the type of SSRI used (there are a few) can need adjusting too.

Your friend is lucky to have you OP. Just being there for her to talk things through could really help.

I work with yp with ocd and would recommend this book as a self help one. Ideally with a therapist experienced working with ocd, but might help in the meantime

@whenwillthemadnessend

My dd has emetophobia which is a form of ocd She is seeing a clinical phycologist and is doing cbt and emdr She is making progress.

I'd recommend finding a good therapist that specialises is ocd treatments.

I wouldn't even bother going through the nhs if you can afford the sessions as it's pot luck who you get and the waiting lists are huge.

For myself as a parent I love listening to the podcast- the anxious truth It's an American guy who has combatted ocd and anxiety. He is easy to listen to and helps me understand my dd more. Why she feels the way she does etc. He isn't annoying and interviews a variety of other sufferers and doctors etc.

I've just had a listen to this podcast, The Anxious Truth, and now downloaded it to Spotify to listen to with my son. It's really good. Thanks for the recommendation, whenwill.

Thanks so much for all of your advice and suggestions. I will definitely recommend that podcast to my friend as I know that she really wants to understand what her ds is experiencing but he won't talk to her much. I'll try and get that book for them as well.

I will definitely keep listening to her as I know she has very few people she can talk to about this. We have known each other for years but have never actually been that close. However, she has asked me for help and I don't want to let her down.

I want to suggest things that might help, like the podcast or the book etc, but don't want to bombard or overwhelm her because I know she has enough on her plate already. I also recognise that my own knowledge is very limited, and I'm not living with the reality of the condition like she is, so I don't want to rush in with ideas on how to "fix" things because i appreciate that it's so much more complex than this. At the same time, I think she needs some practical help as well. I think I'll try to drip feed suggestions a little at a time.

The podcast is very useful. He also sometimes co hosts with a guy called billy.

Billy is a Brit and suffers terribly so I do find the ones with Billy sometimes a bit hard going. So maybe skip those if your listening with the sufferer as they can bring you down a bit.

Holly is excellent as is drew himself.

We have heritary OCD in our family - about at least 5 family members in the extended family. I have it and so does my daughter. I find a family therapist helpful - I speak to her about my daughter's behaviours and she guides me on how to handle them to reduce them.
Its not always true but I have a theory if a child has OCD at least one parent has anxiety. A therapist once explained to me that my mum was not taught how to deal with stress/anxiety and she therefore did not have the skills to teach me and I did not have the skills to teach my children. I agree.
One of the best things I have done is go public with my mental health issues. With OCD there is such a shame element. But by telling people infront of my children I have OCD - I am modelling to them its nothing to be ashamed of. OVD itself is bad enough but keeping a secret about yourself is also damaging.

sorry can I just add - I avoided medication for my daughter for years. But I wish I had of started her sooner now as its a very effective way to reduce behaviours.

My daughter also on sertraline SSRI, low dose for OCD.

She also has pans/pandas condition (which causes OCD) and immunomodulatory treatment has been v effective in bringing down the OCD.

I suggest hypnotherapy OP. I'm a hypnotherapist and we treat a lot of phobia and OCD clients. You can find a list of solution focused hypnotherapists on the association of solution focused hypnotherapy website. Hypnotherapy has a very good success rate.