GCSE results, etc. - (sympathy & encouragement needed)

[TeenMinusTests]

DD has been doing so well recently.
On results day she even walked to school to get her results, the first time on the school site in over a year. Which was fantastic.
And then - no passes - it has knocked her and me right back. All that effort when she was only just getting to full dose on the anti depressants. Stretching herself to breaking point.
She has what she needs for college, but somehow it isn't a consolation, it should be, I know.
It's one thing after another.
Then I looked at her year book, and it just reminded me of how much she has missed out on.
I will be OK. It just sucks for her. Her whole life, nothing seems to fall her way.

She has what she needs, that's great.

Thats the bottom line imo ^

I'm sorry she had had such a bad time, but any qualification is simply a stepping stone to what you want to do in the future...whether that's an apprenticeship, 6th form, job...

It's probably hard for her to believe but apart from English and maths no one will care what her gcse results were in the future.

Good luck to her x

I don't have anything advice wise but I'm so sorry your daughter is having a tough time. She sounds like she has had it very hard but has still managed to keep going none the less. It must have been rotten for her age group this year. I'm really pleased she has what she needs for college. Hopefully the future is brighter xx

I’m sorry to hear this, it’s been such an awful year for lots of children, not helped by being bearable for others so adults have short memories

She DOES have what she needs to move forward and that’s the important thing, she can go onwards, move away from this experience and towards happier times.

If you are going through Hell, keep going!

@TeenMinusTests, I remember you from other threads. Your dd and you have both done brilliantly just to get through the last year - please remember that.

I'm sorry that the results were so disappointing for her, but she will get past this. It's great that she has got what she needs for her next steps. Try to focus on that.

And just remember that the GCSE results are just a snapshot of how things have gone for her in the last year or so. Nothing more, nothing less. They aren't a reflection of her overall ability or of her value as a person. They are just a bunch of numbers that reflect the incredibly difficult year that she has had.

Time to draw a line under them and move on, I reckon. Focus on the future. I'm sure that things will get better for her.

Alexa I know you are right, I'm just having trouble feeling it emotionally.
We so wanted DD to be able to start college with a 'clean slate', and now she'll have to fuss with maths & English lessons too, which is depressing, and adds to her workload.

I know exactly how you feel.

My DD had over 2 years out of school due to anxiety. In May she actually went to school to complete some work to be assessed for grading. I am so proud of her that she managed to do that.

Results day and she has actually passed both English language and literature with a grade 4 and has a btec in business studies. Everything else was 2s and 3s. She is really disappointed but I just keep telling her how proud we are. To pass two after not attending for that length of time is amazing.

She has a confirmed place at college to study catering as she loves cooking so will need to retake maths at the same time.

But really when she is a world famous chef who is going to care about her gcse results?!

I can't even remember the last time I saw gcse results on a c.v.

Your DD should be proud for just being able to sit the assessments.

Oh well done to your DD cricket
I know DD couldn't have done more - in fact she managed more actual assessments than I even imagined best case.
It is just everyone going on about increased grades, people with 8s wanting to appeal for 9s etc etc.
And I have no life due to looking after DD.
(And my counsellor is on holiday for 2 weeks too).

Just feeling a bit despondent.

Also trying to persuade DD to go and have the vaccine is an uphill struggle...

Yes I don't think it helped with all the other mums posting pages and pages of 8 or 9 grades all day. DD is very intelligent and was doing really well at school up until a few years ago. She has recently been diagnosed as ADHD and ASD and weirdly I think a little part of me is grieving for what could have been for her if she had had more support from the school.

But yes agree with the PP who said to draw a line under it and concentrate on the next new exciting step for her! College will be such a different environment for them both. I really hope they settle and do well ❤️

We've got the uniform for college all sorted and altered to fit. (Overalls are not made to fit

Yes I don't think it helped with all the other mums posting pages and pages of 8 or 9 grades all day

None of my friends shared our DC's grades. It's just not the done thing.

for you OP and your brave and beloved daughter.

@ThymeafterThyme no I thought it was quite distasteful to be honest. Maybe a short congratulations on good results kinda thing but there were photos of the actual results sheet!

@TeenMinusTests sounds like you are good and ready! We are still waiting for the equipment list so haven't even made a start yet....

We got on with uniform as I thought it might need altering so didn't want to leave it until the last minute. Luckily the list of what was needed was on the college website, along with supplier.

Photos of results sheets - wow.

The one thing that is helping DD is the new DCat who has been with us for 12 days.

Glad that she is enjoying time with your new DCat. That's a lovely, positive thing to focus on. I know it's a pain that she'll have to retake the maths and English, but hopefully she will get good support and have a fresh start in a new environment. Sounds like the college will be really supportive, so that's great.

I understand that it's hard not to feel disappointed for her OP. It's natural to wish that things had worked out differently and it's totally fair enough to feel a bit despondent, but this is just a temporary blip in your dd's journey. I'm sure it will all come right in the end. You sound like a really supportive mum so she is lucky to have you.

Sorry about the results Teen Glad the cat is going well, animals are amazing.

Hopefully the new course will be the start of something good for your DD. She is lucky to have someone as caring as you and you did all you could. It is frustrating when you've given everything and see not much in the way of results but she needed you there and she did get in for the exams and the results so there is some progress. It has been an exceptional period with the lockdowns and many kids have regressed esp those with SN. Hopefully onwards and upwards now.

It's just so heartbreaking. She needed her 'extra' sleeping tablet last night (above the melatonin) which she was on daily but hadn't needed for a month. She's talking again about 'bad thoughts' in her head which had also gone away.

Oh that must be so worrying for you.

Do you have anyone you can contact if her MH starts to decline? We were given a barnados support worker by social services. She only had 12 sessions with her but we have her contact details if she was to need her again.

She has was she needs to move on that's what to focus on. I'm sorry she's feeling crap. If it's any consolation my dd failed her maths at school but found it much easier at college due to teaching style suiting better so it's not always a bad thing

Foo I am trying v hard to get her to focus on college.
But I think it is hard for me to sound convincing because I know exactly where she is coming from.

cricket I think she'll be OK, but yes we do have areas of external support.

Just cried on the phone when college rang.
I'd emailed to request timetabling to allow CBT which has to be on a fixed day. They've just rung to say yes it is possible. So relieved. Something finally working out.

I am feeling so stressed today.

We contacted the school yesterday to try to get some info on how they got her grades but got a waffly non answer back. So we responded with a lot more info on where we are coming from - I can't bare to check my emails now, I think I need to hand it over to my DH. If the answer is she didn't meet the grade then fine. If they downgraded her due to them not providing an invigilator or not picking up alternate evidence, then not fine. I just need to know for my piece of mind.

DD won't go for her vaccine.

My counsellor is on holiday.

DD nagging to take new cat outside, I can't take the stress on top of everything. Just foolishly said she can. Please let it go OK.

Sorry to hear things are so stressful Teen

I hope your DD has a lovely time with the cat, we have a 17 year old one and my DS worships her. I would just keep the cat to an enclosed garden or similar if she's never been out before. It's good your DD wants to go out.

I would try and look after yourself and take a break. Can you leave things for a couple of weeks, hand over to your dh if needed and if you can go out on a few nice trips out. Take your DD if she and you are up to it. If you aren't up to that just Netflix or similar.

I am sorry your counseller is away. I am here if you need someone, can pm me any time you want. Take care and enjoy the new cat. Mine just lives on a shelf now but she purrs very loudly when anyone strokes her.