Intense anxiety in 5 year old with ASD

[Chris2315]

Hi everyone, I have a 5 year old son who was diagnosed with ASD last year. We have suspected it for a while, as he was not talking til 4 and would hand flap when excited, plus didn’t acknowledge anyone walking into the same room as him. He has however made some absolutely amazing strides and his speech is now great (if not quite on par with others his age) and he is much more sociable to us and to his friends in school.

One big issue we have is that he seems to have severe anxiety, which causes uncontrollable meltdowns. Some scenarios below:

1. If he falls and hurts himself - if there’s no visible mark he’s fine, but if there’s even a slight mark then he will become extremely distressed and will not settle until it’s covered some way- e.g a plaster (band aid for Americans) or long trousers if it’s on his leg. Bath time then becomes just as stressful as he hates the idea of it getting wet

2. if we’re out, he’ll constantly want to know the time even if it’s a theme park where he’s having huge amounts of fun. When we tell him the line, if he determines it’s ‘late’ (his definition of late seems to change but today it was 15:50) then he will again meltdown and become inconsolable until we’re back at the car. This is probably the most difficult situation we have to deal with

3. If one our phones or his iPad has a low battery, he won’t be happy until we put it on charge - otherwise again he’d be upset, the worst was when it actually turned off because of the low battery - he was very upset

He is under the care of a paediatrician but due to COVID he hasn’t actually seen them in 2 years, instead we were informed of his diagnosis on the phone. No one seems to be able to help us, and it’s becoming a huge problem for us because we have a 2 year old plus another baby on the way.

Does anyone have any tips at all? Is there any therapy we could push for that may help? Or could he be given medication to help (although I would be a bit reluctant with that)?

Thanks in advance!

My son is a similar age but hasn’t got ASD, but responds the same way to your scenario 1. The min he falls over he instantly looks and of there’s a slight mark he want to not see it and if he’s in a t shirt he’ll want a jumper on to cover it. Or on his foot a sock. And every day he’ll ask if it’s healed yet.

2. can you buy him his own watch? Do you sometimes panic kn the mornings getting ready for school and use the word late? I’m always shouting we are going to be late; and have almost made being late a scary thing for my kids. Not that I’m blaming you for his fear of lateness

3. can you try and ask him why this is such a worry? Can you let your mobile run out of battery more often and show him it then works again? Can you create a story board with him about a boy who always forgets to charge their mobile, and good outcomes?

Just some ideas, feel free to ignore!

He sounds very like my 4 year old daughter. She has ASD too and can be extremely anxious.

No advice really as it sounds like we are at a similar stage to you. Be interested to see if anyone else has solutions.

I just try to prevent any chance of setting her off by keeping to a routine, making sure devices stay charging when not in use (god forbid her tablet runs out of battery!) And talking her though our plans before we go anywhere, then making sure to stick to them.

Thanks to both of you for your replies 😊 glad to see the boo boo thing isn't as uncommon as I thought (he broke his arm a few years ago and because nothing was visible didn't seem that bothered, he was even fine with a cast and a sling - but a tiny graze will be like the end of the world!)

It's very hard to get a sensible out of him - with the iPad/phone situation, his answer is always 'because it'll go to 0' - no matter how many times I tell him it doesn't matter and will come back on. Same with time - I ask him why does it matter that it's 15:50 (using today's example - although I can't ask this during the moment as he is too preoccupied screaming and trying to run) and his answer is just 'it's a little bit late'.

I do like the idea of a watch because maybe if he feels more in control of seeing the time it might make it less surprising, so I'll give that a go, thanks 😊