15 year old - acts like baby

[MrsWorriedMother]

Hi, I'm really worried about my 15 year old DS.

Up until the age of about 3 he had some health issues and he was with me all the time and we developed a very early deep bond.

Over the years since then he has always been very very clingy to me for want of a better word but now I feel like I haven't done him any favours because he just wants to be with me ALL the time and he acts very young for his age.

He doesn't even want to spend any time with his dad. Just me.

He is happy at school and has never said he doesn't want to go and by all accounts he has friends at school but never communicates with them in any way outside of school. Fwiw he had a horrible time in primary school because there were a lot of alpha males in his class and he has never been sporty etc.

During the holidays he just watches TV all day waiting for me to come home from work.

He has an older brother who has really tried to bond with him but they just have absolutely nothing in common.

He talks in a baby voice and I know I am guilty of not putting a stop to this.

He is going in to year 11 in September and wants to stay on in sixth form after that but I worry so much that he is going to get picked on because he is so behind his peers socially.

I really want to try and help him to grow up but I don't want him to feel that I am pushing him away.

Any advice gratefully accepted.

Sorry just to say also I have suggested outside clubs like scouts, drama etc and he won't go

He talks in a baby voice and I know I am guilty of not putting a stop to this.

Hi, OP. Does he talk in a 'baby voice' to his dad and brother? His teachers, peers? Has it ever come up at parents' evenings, for instance?

@SpindleWhorl no just to me.

His brother and Dad tell him off when he does it.

It sounds like he is stuck, psychologically, and that needs professional intervention IMO.

Take him to your GP.

What's he like about his own, developing into puberty, body? Does he look after himself ( ie shave & shower without prompts).

Is he frightened of anything?

Most of the time he needs to be prompted to wash. He shaves without prompting.

Yes I think he is frightened. His older brother has had a lot to deal with over past couple of years. He has been mugged and was run over so I think DS15 is scared to go out.

He doesn't have any diagnosed special needs altho ive always had an inkling / hunch that there is something altho investigations have come back normal.

His paediatrician when he was a baby said that he will be behind because his peers were off exploring when they started walking / crawling but he missed out on that phase.

Now could be the time, in fact it is a very good time, to start telling him (privately at first, so you don't embarrass him from the get-go) that you'll be using grown-up voices from now on.

You need to change as much as he does. Watch your intonation and voice. Talk normally at all times to him. No more gentle and soft stuff, like you'd talk to a young child.