I need help with 11yr old and anxiety

[Squeekybummum]

Don't no where else to turn. My son is year 6, been on the adhd pathway for 2 years, due to covid things have slowed right down.
Before Xmas he had a nightmare, took a while to go back sleep but he eventually did with lots of reassurance and cuddles. Next night he was anxious going to bed thinking it would happen again. Up until past midnight, waking siblings and nothing we said would calm him. Ended up bringing his mattress into our room. Things settled after about a week but still not going to sleep straight away. was still a little anxious going to bed. Cahm have been seeing him in school for 4 weeks now. They recommended we told him we were turning off his light to try and trigger him and then in the hope he would settle himself and use all his skills learnt to calm his anxiety. Well that completely back fired and he is 10 times worse, awake till 2am and up at 6.30 this morning. We are so stressed out tired and upset. We don't no what to do or where to turn.
We have bought a weighted blanket a couple of weeks ago. We meditate, take him for long walks. Talk about all his anxiety throughout the day. But just don't no what else to do.
Sorry if I'm rambling, any help or tips would be greatly received x

I myself have dealt with Generalised Anxiety Disorder since I can remember, but I'm no professional. I think you're a saint for being so caring, my own parents tried to help but didn't really understand or make many allowances, so already that's amazing.

So to explain what I've learnt over the years from various psychiatrists, Anxiety is kind of like depression, there's being 'anxious' and there's having 'Anxiety'. Anxiety is irrational fears, irrational worries, excessive amounts of fear and worry. Often to the point that the fear interferes with the ability to go about a normal day. DS can't sleep, so it's definitely interfering, unfortunately.

Anxiety has a lot of symptoms and causes a bunch of things. There are physical ones, like a high resting heart rate, shivering or even body tremors, sweating, the feeling of being acutely aware of your own heartbeat, nausea, vomiting, headaches. These symptoms are all caused by very high amounts of the hormones Cortisol and Adrenaline (stress and panic hormones). People with Anxiety overproduce these, and suffer the effects of that. It is manageable with either learning to control it, or medication or both - beta blockers worked for me, but I don't think they would prescribe those to a little boy. These physical symptoms are all part of a huge fear response to what might be pretty much nothing, the sufferer may not even understand why they are panicking - and so without any problem to solve it's hard to return to normal. The fear just carries on without resolution.

Talking is very good for Anxiety, it's so helpful to be listened to. As I got older, I was far better able to put into words how I felt. When I was about 7 I was able to see a play therapist, and she was absolutely lovely - it was also free. I don't know how my mum got in contact with the
kind of organisation she worked for, but I'm sure the school or an organisation like Mind could help you. Having someone be there for you and try to understand is extremely comforting to people with mental health issues. I hope I've been able to help you or answer any questions, and I wish you the best.

DS tween has ADHD and had clinical anxiety.
He had a year with a therapist to which did wonders.
As part of that he had a structured night time routine which included half an hour of sensory activity before bed.
Then a pillow spray, clean pj's, a night light etc.

We are in the USA so had dc melatonin for very bad nights. Although that gets dc to sleep it doesn't keep them asleep so not a magic solution.

Really bad nights he came through and slept with us, therapist said not to stress about this too much.

We were also told to keep a careful eye on his diet, make sure he was eating regularly and had enough protein, also that he was hydrated.

As well as plenty of physical activity.

At one point it was all unbelievably stressful but now unless there is a major reason for anxiety things are ticking along ok. So remain hopeful.

Thankyou both for your replys.
Still battling bedtime, we have made a couple of slight changes to our night time routine. Hopefully see some improvement soon.
At the minute he is staying awake till we go to bed. As if he has seperation anxiety. Up and down every 20 minutes or so. Trying to be as calm and nice as possible so we don't rise his anxiety any more.
We have been in touch with a couple of charities for more support and have started a sleep diary. If things don't improve in a few weeks we will take the diary to doctors and maybe try some sort of calming medication. Finding it hard to function through the day with broken and less sleep so Im sure his school work is the same.